By the blood of my brother
by Inukashi
Summary: Sasuke becomes a captive in a prison called 'the arena', where he has to fight in order to survive. His life is saved by a raven haired stranger with onyx eyes, but why does he seem so strangely familiar? And why doesn't Sasuke remember anything about his past? Soon he has to decide; either avenge his clan, or be with his beloved brother again.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

My surroundings are on fire. The entire arena is burning. The flames lick up the cold, dark rock's faces and turn black into light red.  
Corpses surround me. Some of them may have been killed by me, some may have died in other fights. I don't know. I have long ceased to look at the faces of those who I murder. I destroy their human lives, like they never truly existed.  
The smell of death and smoke blends and makes me feel dazed. Everything looks hazy to me, my surroundings blur, my senses let me down- but there's one thing I can see clearly.

A young man is standing in front of me, next to the spreading flames.

His raven hair is sticky with blood and sweat, a few strands escape the low ponytail and fall into his dark eyes. Eyes that are cold and emotionless. Something red is flickering in their depths, and I know that it's not the reflecting fire. No, it's his own flames, burning deep within him, it is _his_ fire.

Under both of his eyes are dark lines, that make him seem even more serious. He's holding kunais in his hands, his nails are painted in black.

I tilt my head, just a tiny bit, but that's enough to wake him from his stiffness. The kunais give a clashing sound as they fall to the stony ground, and he begins to run.

"Sasuke", he screams, but I don't show any reaction to the sound my own name.

I know they are right behind me. I know what's awaiting me. I know that my fate has to be fulfilled. And it will be, very soon.

It was obvious from the very beginning.

From the first day on, I knew I would die in here.

Like all the others.

And I'm going to take my death willingly, if in return the life of the young man who protectively wraps his arms around me in this moment, who almost drags me to the ground with the force of our collision, will be spared.

* * *

A/N: I know, this is awfully short. SO SHORT. But this was only the prologue, the following chapters will be longer! I promise!

Also, they will be written ind the third person view. (Well, I like it better, though I decided to write the prologue with Sasuke's POV.

This is my first attempt at writing a fanfic, so I would appreciate it if you tell me what you think/ suggest something.

Reviews are love!


	2. Chapter 1 - Memories

**Chapter 1 - Memories**

It began six months ago. Sasuke Uchiha wandered down a lonely road. The mansions to the left and to the right had fallen into disrepair and were unoccupied, the facades crumbly, and vegetation slowly regained it's power over a once civilized place. Sasuke's fingers coiled tighter around the hilt his kunai and he let his eyes wander over the deserted village. Places like this one, destroyed in the great ninja war and left without any life left, were considerably more dangerous than other, still inhabited areas. Sasuke turned around a corner, the only sound being his long, light footsteps on the cobbles. He paused, and his dark eyes came to rest on an empty, dilapidated house, visible through a high archway.

Memories flashed through his thoughts, blurred, but always present.

Memories of the happy, hard-working people who once lived there.

Memories of women selling their goods on the market, and of playing children. He had been amongst them, back then.

Another picture appeared, the picture of a young women with long black hair a friendly smile, and heart-warming dark eyes. Eyes like her son's.

Sasuke pressed his nails into the palm of his free hand. He couldn't allow himself to have such thoughts, not now, not in a place like this.

"In mourning?"

Sasuke almost jumped; he hadn't heard anyone approach him.

He turned around and his gaze met a man who was standing at the other side of the road. He was dressed in a dark coat whose collar covered half of his face. Long, dark gray strands of hair fell into his pale, snake- like face.

Sasuke turned away again and stared, almost absentmindedly, at the archway in front of him.

The sign of the Uchiha clan was painted on the weathering walls above.

"Nothing's able to bring back the dead", he said coldly.

He felt the man slowly coming closer.

"True."

For a while, the quiet footsteps where the only audible thing. The stranger spoke up again when he stood next to Sasuke.

"It's said that you're the only survivor of the massacre."

Sasuke hesitated. Neither did he want to talk about the massacre, nor was he willing to expose more of himself than necessary. But on the other hand, why should he lie?

"Wrong."

The man raised an eyebrow.

"So?"

When he noticed that the boy standing next to him didn't make any move to talk, he spoke again.

"Who else survived?" He didn't sound particularly interested. Sasuke turned his head towards the stranger. His cold, emotionless gaze pierced through the man.

"My brother."

It was oppressively quiet.

Sasuke himself wasn't sure why he had told the man what had been kind of his secret for such a long time now.

"Itachi Uchiha, you mean."

It wasn't a question. And the stranger didn't sound as surprised as Sasuke had expected. The young Uchiha bit his lip. He hadn't heard that name for a long time. A very long time.

_Itachi…_

"So the Uchiha prodigy is still alive." The man interrupted his thoughts.

"What does it matter?" Sasuke retorted. "Nobody knows where he is. Me neither, before you ask."

To express what had bothered him during all those years hurt him more than he wanted to admit to himself. He had resolved not to think about his brother, again and again. It just hurt too much. But he couldn't control his thoughts, memories and dreams, no matter how hard he tried.

Back then he had been too young to understand. To understand what connected him and his older brother.

The talented, unapproachable, distant Uchiha prodigy.

Sasuke had never understood how much exactly he was bound to Itachi. He had been seven years old when his parents, teachers, friends and relatives had died and his elder brother had disappeared. He still remembered how much he had admired his big brother. How much he had wished to become like him one day.

Despite all that, he could barely remember what Itachi looked like.

But he knew that his brother was perfectly beautiful.

Itachi was pure perfection.

The stranger beside Sasuke interrupted his thoughts again.

"And you? You stay here, not even bothering to search your last remaining relative?"

Sasuke clenched his fist. "If Itachi had wanted to stay, he would have done exactly that."

His voice was bitter, dripping with repulsion.

Right, _repulsion._

He would never be able to forgive Itachi. Forgive him for leaving his little brother at that time. The time when he needed him the most.

"What if he had no choice?", the man said.

Sasuke shook his head. "What would make you say that? You don't know anything."

"Do I?", the man asked.

"You-

Sasuke stopped speaking in mid-flow. What did the stranger just say?

"What do you know?", he hissed.

The man shrugged. "Nothing you'd care for, I guess."

The young Uchiha whirled around and lifted his kunai to the man's throat, all in one fluid motion. It pressed into the pale skin of the stranger.

"Clear out!", he hissed. His voice didn't show any hint of emotion, neither the anger he felt deep inside, nor fear or any other weaknesses.

To his astonishment, the man smiled cunningly.

"Not until I've told you what I wanted to tell you."

Sasuke, having been raised as a true Uchiha, raised an eyebrow in order to spare with words.

"The Uchiha prodigy… and the other son… many people would pay shitloads of money for you and your brother."

He was silenced by Sasuke, who pressed his kunai deeper into the sensitive flesh of his neck, drawing blood. The Uchiha skeptically surveyed the man's features.

"You would be foolish to believe you could actually capture me. Or that anyone could capture Itachi. To think you'd even survive the try…"

He was right about cutting the man's throat, when the stranger said something that made him hold on.

"I know where your brother is."

Sasuke's gaze met the man's. He had snake-like, golden eyes. Even though they always glittered with deceit, right now, Sasuke was tempted to believe him.

"You do?"

He knew that it was stupid to believe this stranger.

But a soft voice, deep inside of him and barely heard these days, told him to listen.

The reason made Sasuke even angrier.

Hope.

He _wanted_ to hope that his brother was still alive, somewhere out there.

"Come with me, and you might see him again", was the man's answer.

Sasuke smiled a calculating smile.

"And why don't you just tell me where I can find him?"

"And what would be your part of that trade?"

"A trade, is that what you want?", Sasuke asked. The man nodded.

"Well then. Give me the information I want, and I'll spare your life."

The stranger's smile widened and he tilted his head, although Sasuke's kunai was still pressing into his skin.

"Don't make the mistake of being too arrogant in front of your opponents, Sasuke Uchiha", he said quietly.

Sasuke oppressed the impulse to jump.

_...  
_

_"Say, Sasuke, am I that bad?"_

_I didn't answer. The reason was as simple as ashaming: Itachi was right with what he wanted to say._

_I guess I didn't really like him after all. I lowered my gaze as his crimson eyes met mine. We were sitting on the wooden porch in front of our house, it was a warm evening, the sun was setting and the sky had turned to a pearly pink-red, in it's middle an orange glowing sun._

_"It's okay. Shinobi are often hated by others, so it's no surprise."_

_His voice was calm and emotionless as always- almost._

_Whenever he spoke to me, his little brother, he showed slightest hints of... affection. His eyes weren't as cold, almost dead, as they used to be._

_"Being the best isn't all it's made out to be. When you have power you become arrogant and isolated from the world. No matter how coveted and though-after you were in the beginning. But with us it's different, because you and I are flesh and blood."_

_He paused and smiled. It was a beautiful smile. It was perfect. But it was hollow. Other people may not have noticed it, but I was his brother. And I understood._

_"I'm always going to be there for you, even if it's as an obstacle for you to overcome. Even if you_ do hate_ me. That's what big brothers are for."_

...

Sasuke gritted his teeth. He didn't want to remember. Memories were emotions, and emotions were weakness. But the words the foreign man had spoken had opened a wound.

Memories always came over him suddenly, like visions, and there wasn't anything he could do to prevent it from happening.

Nevertheless he had- before and after those 'visions' - no idea how his brother looked.

He tried to reconstruct what the man had said before the flood of mementoes had drowned him.

"I came here to give you a quote", the stranger said. He paused to see the young Uchiha's reaction, but there was no reaction at all. The boy's face didn't show any flicker of emotion- as always.

"I'll take you to where your brother is. In return, you will… Well, as you said, it's a trade."

"So I'll be in debt to you."

"Yes. And to prove you that I am not lying, I show you this." The man reached into his pocket. As he opened his hand, something horribly familiar lay in his palm.

The necklace Itachi had always worn.

Sasuke gasped and suppressed the urge to touch it. The foreigner was wise enough not to talk. He just waited for what Sasuke would say.

The raven haired boy stared at the necklace.

_Aniki…_

Here it was, the chance he had been waiting for. Ten years had passed.

And now a stranger had come, had shown him Itachi's necklace and offered to show him where his brother was.

It sounded perfect. Almost too perfect.

"Guide me", Sasuke said calmly.

Before he could think about it, he had said those words. Sasuke suppressed the urge to spit on the ground. He hated to be dependent on others. Bonds weren't any good. His past had taught him...

But this time it was different.

He would see his brother.

_Itachi…_

Sasuke grabbed the necklace.

"Show me the way, old man", he said.

"Orochimaru, it is."

* * *

A/N: Yeah... Hope you liked it at least a bit. Reviews are appreciated! I won't update if don't get any! ;)


	3. Chapter 2 - Betrayal

**Chapter 2 - Betrayal  
**

It had begun back then. On that day, the young Uchiha had made a decision that should change his entire life. He had chosen his fate, without even knowing it.

Sasuke Uchiha had sworn to avenge his family. Not only his family, but his entire clan. Whoever had killed them that night, ten years ago, would have to die.

Sasuke had devoted his life to being an avenger. He had trained hard, merciless with himself, separated from the ongoing war and every human being, he had practiced every single day since the massacre.

The second promise he had given himself was to find his brother.

His brother, who had left him when Sasuke needed him the most… The young Uchiha _wanted_ to hate Itachi for what he'd done, but no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't bring himself to do so. He had always looked up to his older brother. Sasuke sometimes remembered how happy he had been when Itachi gave him a brief, beautiful smile…

Sasuke closed his eyes and leaned back against the tree trunk behind him.

When he felt Orochimaru's gaze rest on him, he opened his eyes and dark obsidian irises met pale golden ones.

Sasukes hand moved to touch the necklace he was wearing. His long, slender fingers grasped the silver pendant.

_Aniki…_

Sasuke stopped his own thoughts. What was wrong with him? Never had he thought about his brother as much as in these last five days.

Sasuke had been traveling with Orochimaru for almost six days now. The mysterious man still hadn't told the boy one bit about himself, and he didn't seem to intend to do so. It wasn't like Sasuke was curious. He just wanted to know more about the stranger because he couldn't see through him at all, and that itched the young Uchiha. He considered himself a good judge of character- but Orochimaru remained a mystery to him. Somehow, he had respect for the man. He didn't like him, not at all, nor was he afraid of him… but he suspected Orochimaru to be stronger than he actually claimed to be. There was something about his appearance that made Sasuke assume that Orochimaru wasn't a particularly desirable opponent.

The snake- like man barely spoke to Sasuke. That was a thing the raven appreciated, he wasn't talkative anyway. Nevertheless, he was a little bit scared by the odd looks Orochimaru would sometimes give him. Under the man's gaze, he felt like… an object.

They had long left the ruins of Konohagakure behind, now they were traveling southwards, towards a destination unknown to Sasuke.

Sasuke sighed. He felt uncomfortable with his whole situation. What if Orochimaru was deceiving him? What if he lied?

What if he indeed possessed the necklace, but Itachi, the original owner, was…

_No._

Sasuke bit his lip. There was no way Itachi would be dead. He wouldn't even allow himself to think of that possibility.

"What are you thinking about?" Orochimaru's voice, as smooth as always.

For a few seconds Sasuke considered to ignore the question and pretend he hadn't heard it. But he knew it was pointless, so he could as well answer.

"My brother", he stated simply.

Orochimaru nodded, and a mischievous smile made it's way to the man's lips.

"You must really love him."

Sasuke tried not to show any change of his facial expression. He succeeded, being a true Uchiha.

"And what makes you assume that I do?"

"Everything you do."

Sasuke tilted his head and raised a single eyebrow.

"You threw away what you had in Konoha, just to follow a stranger who told you that he knows where your brother is. You left your whole life behind." Orochimaru scrutinized him attentively.

"That was no life at all", Sasuke said bluntly.

Orochimaru shrugged.

"That's not for me to judge." He paused, and seemed to think about something.

"Say, Sasuke… You trained all those years, didn't you?"

Sasuke nodded quietly.

"What for?"

"Isn't that obvious?", the young Uchiha retorted.

"You want to avenge your family. Your clan."

Sasuke nodded again. He was getting tired of this conversation.

"But you do not know who was the one who murdered them… you do not know who was the slaughter of the entire Uchiha clan…" Orochimaru's gaze kept resting on him. The snake- man didn't even blink.

"I don't." Sasuke's voice was even, but he felt anger boiling inside of him.

"And nevertheless you forced yourself to move on… to cling onto the thought of avenging your loved ones…"

"All I needed was to become stronger."

Orochimaru smirked. Sasuke wondered why he had brought all this up anyway.

Why did he even care? Why did Orochimaru bother to come all the way to the destroyed village of Konoha, just to see Sasuke?

"And you think you're strong enough now?"

Sasuke nodded, even though he didn't feel like it was true. In truth, he wanted to become much stronger than he was right now. But he saw no reason to tell Orochimaru. He was already a powerful, really well fighter.

"We will see", the man in front of him said. "We will see… Maybe you'll be able to survive. Maybe you really are stronger than all the others."

During the time they had already been traveling together, nothing worth mentioning had happened. They had been attacked by highwaymen two times- and Sasuke had soon realized that Orochimaru was an extraordinary fighter. He used jutsus Sasuke had never seen before. And they weren't just _any _jutsus, they were hard to perform and probably needed a lot of training, great amount of chakra anyways.

Despite becoming curious about the man that accompanied him, Sasuke did never ask him anything. He totally mistrusted Orochimaru. And so he was reserved and prudent all the time.

It was night when they were attacked again.

Sasuke awoke at the sound of shouts.

"Don't move!" A harsh voice commanded. Sasuke jumped up and drew his katana, ready to defend himself. A young man with gray hair and circular glasses appeared in front of him, Sasuke raised his weapon, but he was stopped by Orochimaru, who placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't." The man spoke quietly.

Sasuke raised his eyebrows.

Six men stood around them, forming a circle with no way to escape.

"Don't", Orochimaru repeated. "Kabuto. You took your time." He spoke to the man who stood next to Sasuke, the one with silver- gray, long hair.

Said man bent his head. "Pardon." He turned and faced Sasuke.

"You're coming with us." He reached out to take hold of Sasukes arm, but Sasuke quickly did finger signs to perform chidori- again he was stopped by Orochimaru.

"You better stop fighting us."

_Us. _

So Orochimaru had betrayed him.

_Betrayal._

Sasuke thought about the situation he was in. It was seven against one. That wouldn't have constituted a problem, if he hadn't been sure that Orochimaru was an opponent he couldn't defeat…

He had no choice but to follow.

"Good boy", Kabuto said, his voice even and a weird smile playing on his lips.

Sasuke spat on the ground.

Kabuto's friendly expression vanished. Before Sasuke could react, someone had hit him hard on the head from behind.

He sank to the ground, his world turning black.

* * *

I hope you liked this at least a bit more than I do.

And remember, reviews are love. At any time, doesn't matter if this is not the most recent chapter- I still appreciate it!


	4. Chapter 3 - Welcome to the arena

Hey guys! Here I am, with a new chapter! I would've uploaded it yesterday, but my computer had other plans, so...

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, ther would definitely be ItaSasu. And SasoDei. And Sakura would be... Naaah. Never mind.

Enjoy!

**Chapter 3 - Welcome to the arena**

_"What are you doing here, Sasuke?"_

_His voice wasn't unfriendly, but he sounded bored. Disinterested. _

_But maybe, just maybe, there was a little bit more emotion in his beautiful voice than usual. More than when he talked to others._

_I smiled, happy to see my brother being back from his mission. "Aniki!"_

_He smiled, a thin smile, but it was there, and I had seen it. Itachi didn't smile that often, and I was proud that I was the only one who was able to bring him out of his shell._

_It was already late in the evening, almost night. I should have been in my bed- but I had wanted to see my brother, so I had silently left my dark room to sneak through our house, carefully avoiding my parent's voices from inside of the living room. I had sat down on the stairs of our veranda, waiting for my big brother's return._

_Itachi approached me, then stood in front of me for a brief moment, eying me in an examining way, before sitting down next to me._  
_"It's already late, and it is cold outside. You should go back to your room, Outoto", he said softly, almost lovingly. I felt my heart pounding at this, not knowing why my older brother made me feel such things…_

_I shook my head, causing strands of raven hair to fall into my eyes._

_"I wanted to wait for you, Aniki…", I murmured._

_He placed a hand on my shoulder, making me shudder under his light touch, and began caressing my back with his long, slender fingers._  
_I kept still, enjoying the feather light touch, not wanting to make him stop at any costs._

_Itachi seemed to be lost in his own thoughts for a moment, and stared into the dark blue sky. There were no clouds, indicating that tomorrow would be a nice, warm day. I followed Itachi's gaze and watched the millions of silver- white stars in the night sky. But when I looked back at my brother, his expression had hardened. He took his hand away from my shoulder._

_"Leave, Sasuke." His voice was cold, he made clear that this was an order._

_"But Aniki-_

_"Go. Inside."_

_I stood, I didn't want to make my brother angry._

_I wanted him to always be content with what I did. I wanted him to be proud of me, his little brother, but there was nothing to be proud of._

_Whatever he wanted, whatever he asked for, I would do it. For him. In a desperate attempt to please him._

_But now matter how hard I tried, I didn't seem to get any reward._

_Itachi was always reserved, he never showed what was hidden behind the mask he put on, not even I knew._

_Nevertheless, I loved my big brother with all my heart._

_I glanced back at him, admiring his perfect silhouette in the silver moonlight. Then, after what was quite a while, I was finally able to tear myself away from the sight of his stunningly beautiful face, and proceeded to walk inside- but I was stopped by the sound of his voice._  
_"Good night, Outoto", he whispered, a soft smile playing on his lips._

Sasuke was finally awake. His throat felt sore, his arms and legs hurt. He lay on hard ground, however he suspected it not to be the ground, but something like a table, maybe.

He carefully stretched his legs, finding they were stiff, but not injured.

His surroundings were dark, all that stood out were a few black spots, Sasuke guessed they were pieces of furniture, or something like that.

He closed his eyes again, just for a brief moment, before he opened them and waited for him to adjust to the darkness. Finally, as he thought to see the rough outlines of the room he was being held in, he sat up. A sharp pain shot through his head, but Sasuke didn't have any time to react.

"Finally awake?"

He jumped and turned his head towards the origin of the deep voice.

There, in the opposite corner, stood a man.

"Where am I?", Sasuke asked.

He didn't sound scared, he wouldn't be Sasuke if he did. He sounded more like he was… impatient.

"What do you think?"

Sasuke gritted his teeth. "Where am I?", he repeated.

The man came a few steps closer.

"You're gonna find out soon enough. Get up."

Sasuke obeyed, however much it went against his grain.

"Follow me."

The man passed without even looking at him. Sasuke clenched his fists, but he did like he was told. The man opened a door. Suddenly, Sasuke was blinded by daylight. He screwed up his eyes before following the man through the door.

How long have I been unconscious?, he asked himself. And where the hell am I now?

Sasuke looked around, wanting to take in as much as possible.

In front of him was something that could have been a camp.

A few individual tents, frayed and holey. The ground was dry and dusty, it could have been desert, had it been a few shades darker.  
A well-worn, shingly path led through the tents- Sasuke counted 13. On the right, dark rocks extended as far as one could see, on the left Sasuke saw a deep gorge. He could only guess _how_ deep it was.

Following the path with his gaze, Sasuke spottet something that looked like a wall. He shook his head slowly, almost unbelievingly.

Where the hell was he?

He turned to face the man, who gave him a bored look.

"Where am I?" Sasuke repeated for the third time, his voice dangerously low.

The man indicated a scornful smile.

"This is the called 'the arena'."

Sasuke instinctively reached for his katana- only to find that it wasn't there.

Of course not.

The man pointed down the path.

"Your tent is the one with the number '3' painted on it. You're gonna find it."

"Tell me what all this is", Sasuke hissed through gritted teeth.

He was slowly approaching the man, looking at him like a predator at his prey.

"This," the man gave him an appraising look, "is the arena. You see that wall over there? Behind it is the battle arena. The rules are simple. But ... " He shrugged as if he were a little sorry-" I do not have enough time to explain the rules to you. I'm sure you'll find someone who will take care of you ... a pretty boy like you ... "

Sasuke resisted the urge to jump and strangle that man.

"Rules?"

"Don't waste my time."

The man did a few hand signs- then he was gone with a puff of smoke.

Sasuke stood there, alone on the stony way.

What had happened? Where had they brought him?

He began to slowly walk down the path. While walking, he peeked inside the tents, and it wasn't long until he caught sight of five men sitting in front of the entrance. Sasuke changed his direction and began walking towards them.

"Tell me where I am."

"A newbie, hm?" One of them spoke.

Sasuke nodded impatiently.

"Just tell me where I am, old man."

"Didn't he tell you? You're in the arena."

The one who had said that grinned and brought out yellowish teeth. Sasuke suspected that he knew what the boy wanted to know.

With a graceful leap he got to the unsuspecting man and grabbed his collar.

"What is the arena?", he hissed.

"Poor little boy... so clueless, so helpless..." They laughed. Sasuke tightended his grip.

"Tell me."

"You wanna know the rules, hm? Let go of me, and I may consider to tell ya, boy."

Sasuke didn't answer, instead he shoved the man away. He stumbled backwards, but was able to stay on his feet.

"Well, the rules are easy. Fight or die."

"Go on", Sasuke gritted.

"The arena is behind those walls. Every day a tent is forced to fight. Sometimes two tents must go... depends on the operator's mood..." The man grinned.

Sasuke took a step closer, it was a silent threat causing the man to go on.

"If you survive, you return. That's it."

"So I'm a prisoner."

"Like all of us."

"And why is that?"

The other four men laughed.

"You're gonna find out soon enough, boy. Now leave and go search for your fucking tent, or do you wanna freeze tonight?"

Sasuke turned away without another word. He stopped at two other tents, saw a couple of men in each, but spoke to no one. When he spotted a dark green tent with a black '3' painted on it's side, he left the path and entered. Sasuke let his gaze wander. On each side blankets were outspread- but that was the only noticable thing in here.

A young man was sitting in the right rear corner. He had long blond hair that covered half of his face and was partially tied up into a messy ponytail. The man -almost a boy- looked up, and Sasuke's gaze met a big blue eye in the color of the skies.

"I've never seen you here before, un", the boy stated. "New in here?"

A short nod.

The young man smiled at him. "Deidara, un."

"Sasuke." Sasuke decided not to tell him his last name. He knew it would be better for his own sake.

"When did you get here?" Deidara asked.

"About ten minutes ago."

The young man smiled. "You must be confused, un."

Sasuke shrugged. "I ... have some questions, yes. "

Deidara pointed next to him on the floor. "Maybe I can answer them."

Sasuke hesitated. Why was Deidara being so friendly? Well, no matter what the blond's intentions were, Sasuke needed information. He moved to sit next to the blond.

"First of all, what exactly is this place?"

"It's what you could call a prison, un. Just that it isn't a building. It's hard to explain." Deidara paused and seemed to think. "Well. There is a fight in the arena, every single day. They pick a tent, and it's occupants have to fight, un. The arena... changes, it's never the same. You will see... There are several kinds of 'competition'. Well, it's quite simple. You're brought into the arena, where you have to fight for your life. It's either with a time limit, and who's left after the time is over survives, or there's a predetermined number of survivors. Fight, and live. That's pretty much all you need to know, un."

Sasuke favored Deidara with a rare smile.

"What about weapons?", he asked.

Deidara smiled back at him. "You seem like you know how this is going to work, un. Well, you're fighting with what you've got. Which is, in your case, bare fists. Of course you can buy weapons. But they aren't that easy to get, un."

Sasuke nodded slowly. Although he listened intently, what Deidara told him just sounded too absurd to be true. What the fuck was this place?

He tried to focus on more important questions.

"Where are all the other occupants of this tent? Or are you the only one?"

Deidara shook his had, causing his blond mane to fall into his eyes. "They're training, I guess, un. Today's fighters have yet to be announced. Everyone has their own way to prepare for it."

"Where can I train?", Sasuke asked.

"I can show you the training grounds if you like, un", Deidara offered."

Sasuke thought about it. The blond was being conspicouosly nice, compared to the men he had met before... On the other hand, Sasuke had to depend on someone like him.

"That'd be nice."

Deidara smiled and stood up. "Come with me, un."

They left the tent and turned to the left. Sasuke followed Deidara's lead down the path and then to the right again, until the reached foothills of the dark mountain range to their left. Deidara disappeared behind a corner. Sasuke paused; he had heard screams and the clashing sound of weapons.

Then he went to follow the blond- and stood on the edge of a round square, embedded in the rock, where several men were fighting.

Some of them seemed to be skilled, Sasuke noticed, others looked unsure of themselves.

The young Uchiha looked around attentively. Then he turned to Deidara, who stood beside him.

"We're just in time, un." The blond smiled.

He smiled a lot, Sasuke noticed. Hn.

"In a few moments they will announce who has to fight today."

Sasuke didn't react, but Deidara knew he had heard him. The young Uchiha kept still, watching the fighting men.

A man standing at the side caught his attention.

He was alone, all the others seemed to keep their distance to him.

The man wore a black fishnet top, a dark waistcoat above. A short, ragged and cut off cloak was wrapped around his shoulders, it's hood was covering most of the man's face. He also wore a black scarf that covered his mouth, as far as Sasuke could see.

His movements were quick, graceful, and absolutely unerring, as he jumped into the air and threw several shuriken. Sasuke followed the missiles with his gaze.

Every single one hit their target.

Sasuke was staring at the man who landed almost cat-like. A few strands of raven hair fell out of his hood.

As much as Sasuke tried, he couldn't see his face.

He was fascinated by the stranger, he lost himself in watching this man- until he was torn away from the sight.

"Tent number 13 and tent number 3. Enter the arena."

A/N: Naaah, guess who that stranger is~?

I'll update as soon as possible, and I PROMISE that this will get better from here on out.  
Because I have now reached the plot I have already planned. A little.  
Yay!  
Anyway, hope you liked it at least a little bit,

Love y'all for reading it...  
Reviews would be nice though... ;)

To **XxBreathenomorEx** : Thank you for reviewing, first of all! and YES, this is definitely going to have yaoi. Eventually, because as you said, it's far too early for that just now... (hm, sad.) So; Lemons - yes. Hope you aren't disappointed or anything :))


	5. Chapter 4 - Death awaits you

I am back!

This chapter is dedicated to **Uchihacest. RULES** - happy birthday, dear! *hugs* I know this chappy is nothing special, I just wanted to do something to show you I didnt forget about you birthday~

So, enjoy this- **you** rule! :D

All the others, I hope you also enjoy this.

**Chapter 4 –Death awaits you**

Sasuke stared at Deidara.

The blond took his time to turn his head too and meet the young Uchiha's gaze.

"That's us, un." He didn't even sound scared, Sasuke noticed. The raven haired boy nodded slowly. His facial expression remained emotionless, despite the fact that he was indeed scared.

"And… tent number 13? Who are they?"

Deidara tilted his head to the side. A smirk graced his lips.

"Oh, that's just one person, un. It's _him_."

"And who is 'he'?", Sasuke asked impatiently.

Deidara made a gesture towards the man who Sasuke had just been watching.

"Let's hope that luck is with us today, and they don't want just one survivor, un", he said quietly. But Sasuke wasn't listening anyway. He just stared at the man who had turned to walk away, his destination seemed to be the wall down the path. His steps were just as smooth and graceful as his every move.

"When will we know?" He asked Deidara without looking at the blond.

"As soon as we're inside."

Sasuke let his gaze wander. He needed weapons. What was he to do without any shuriken or kunai? Without his katana?

"Deidara. I need a weapon", he said calmly.

The young man next to him chuckled. "That's a bit late now, un. We better get going. Try to survive."

"Hn." Sasuke started to follow Deidara, who walked the same way a few other men were also going.

Towards a tall, dark wall. Sasuke supposed the arena was behind it. Though he had no idea what 'the arena' might look like- the men he had asked first had said that it'd never be the same, that it changed… Sasuke bit his lower lip. He needed to figure out a tactic, not think about unnecessary things like this.

He didn't have a single weapon- so he would have to use his precious chakra. Had no idea what would await him in there, so he prepared himself for everything. For a moment, Sasuke considered to ask Deidara, but then decided to keep quiet.

What if they announced that there had to be one sole survivor?

Deidara was his enemy. Just as everyone else in here was.

Nevertheless, the man walking next to him still had a smirk on his lips.

"What's so funny?" Sasuke finally gave in to his curiosity, though he sounded annoyed.

Deidara's smile widened. "I'm going to be able to make my art", he said excitedly.

"Your art-?"

Sasuke was interrupted by someone pushing him to the side.

"Brat. Where have you been?"

The question was obviously addressed to Deidara. The blond turned to look at the man who had interrupted their conversation.

So did Sasuke. The young man walking between him and Deidara had fiery red, short, and slightly messy hair. His eyes were of a muddy brown, and his features were what could be called beautiful.

"Danna." Deidara smirked. "Could ask you the same, un."

"Tch. Are you well prepared?"

"I don't need any preparation, Danna, un. My art is spontaneous."

The red head shook his head. "Just don't run out of clay again."

"Worried, un?"

"Not one bit."

Sasuke watched the two. They sounded like they knew each other well. Not like enemies at all. Was the other man in their tent too?

His thoughts were interrupted by Deidara's voice.

"Danna, this is Sasuke. Sasuke, this is Sasori no Danna, un."

"Hn." Sasuke saw no need to say anything else. So did Sasori, who just nodded at him once. Though the red head seemed to examine Sasuke attentively, one brow furrowed.

The young Uchiha sent him a glare before turning his attention back to the wall they were facing by now.

Deidara pointed at a small crowd of men who were waiting in front of the obstacle. "We should go over there, they are going to let us in soon."

Sasuke didn't react; he was looking for the black haired man he had seen earlier. But he was nowhere to be found, so he followed Deidara and Sasori, who were walking towards the others, arguing about 'what true art is'. Sasuke soon became annoyed by Deidara's screaming and walked a few steps away, watching the people around him.

A few of them were showing the same expressionless face as him- most of them looked anxious. Some held kunai and shuriken in their hands, others may have had weapons, but they didn't show them just yet.

Sasuke sighed quietly. Although he had no idea how good the fighters were, he knew this wasn't going to be easy. A few men looked like experienced ninja.

He didn't doubt he would survive, though. He was Sasuke Uchiha, after all.

At this thought, a door which had been invisible before opened. They began to walk through it, so Sasuke just did as the others did, and entered the arena.

What he saw once he had passed surprised him.

They were standing in a forest. The ground was still sandy, but small tufts of grass covered it, and soon the desert was turned into a meadow.

Close to them was the edge of a forest which somehow reminded Sasuke of the woods surrounding Konoha.

He made his way through the small crowd to gain a better view at what was soon to be a battlefield.

There was nothing special about this place. It was really just an ordinary forest.

Fine. This wasn't to his disadvantage.

Sasuke had no clue what would happen next, so he just told himself to relax and wait.

It wasn't long until a loud voice resounded.

"The rules for today's fight. The participants have to go to their starting places. There will be seven survivors today. Thus, teaming up is allowed."

Sasuke arched an eyebrow. Teaming up?

He turned his head at Deidara's direction, only to see the blond smile at Sasori happily.

"Let's show them art, un", he cheered, loud as always. The red head smirked, it was the first time that Sasuke saw any kind of change on his face.

But what was meant by 'their starting places'? Sasuke sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"The fight will begin in two minutes." It was the voice from the speakers again. Sasuke clenched his fists and watched what the others were doing. There were around thirty men with him in here.

Seven would survive.

What was this sick game?

Sasuke ran off into the forests as all the others sped away too.

A quick image flashed through his mind; him and his brother, both still young. He was watching Itachi training and throwing shuriken at several targets. They were surrounded by woods, a smell of spring was lingering in the air…

Sasuke shook his head to suppress the memory.

Not now.

"Half a minute left", the voice announced.

Sasuke proceeded to run deeper into the forest. His steps were inaudible on the soft ground, his feet sinking into the light green grass. It was quiet around him. Way too quiet. There were no birds, no animals at all.

Something was terribly wrong with this place. The thought made Sasuke shudder. This wasn't a real forest, nor was it an illusion. How was this even possible?

"Ten seconds left."

Sasuke came to a halt. He closed his eyes as the countdown started.

"Five."

Sasuke took in a deep breath.

"Four."

He clenched his fists.

"Three."

The young Uchiha smirked.

"Two."

This was just practice.

"One."

The perfect opportunity to test his abilities.

"Begin!"

And Sasuke opened his eyes. They were glowing crimson, Sharingan visible.

He started to look around. He could feel the presence of others not too far away from him. Sasuke began to walk towards them. He surveyed his surroundings while he walked through the forest. Besides the fact that there were no animals, nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

But all the time, he couldn't help but feel watched.

It wasn't long until he found what he was looking for.

A man was rushing through the trees. He looked like he was running away from something.

Sasuke jumped in his way.

"Stop right here."

The man stumbled but was able to catch himself from falling. He pulled out a knife.

Sasuke examined him. This man wasn't a ninja. He was just an ordinary man.

And his life was soon to be over.

The young Uchiha made a quick move towards him, making hand signs in the meantime, and placed a hand at the man's left arm and took hold of it. He easily dodged the knife, then whirled around, twisted his opponent's arm with a crashing sound.

"Chidori!"

The man sank to the ground, Sasuke's bare fist had struck his back. His eyes widened, he choked, and spat blood.

When the man's gaze went hollow, Sasuke reached out for the knife his victim had been carrying. This would make things far easier.

Just as he straightened, he heard quiet footsteps behind him. Sasuke whirled around.

Three men were standing ten meters away from him, eyeing him with a mixture of curiosity and mockery.

"A new one, huh?", one of them said loudly.

They came closer, but Sasuke didn't make a move. They seemed dangerous, so he was going to wait.

"We won't be an easy-kill like this guy", another one said, pointing at the male Sasuke had just killed.

The young Uchiha quirked a single eyebrow and raised the knife in his right hand.

"That little toy ain't gonna help you!" They laughed.

Sasuke tilted his head and smirked. "Neither is your loud mouth going to save you."

The man's face suddenly became serious. "You're a bit too confident for a newbie", he said, his voice dangerously low.

"Let's teach pretty-boy a lesson!", one of them screamed.

Sasuke's muscles tensed as the one who had spoken first began running towards him. The attacking male pulled out a considerable amount of kunai and began throwing them at the raven haired boy in front of him. Sasuke jumped on a tree to dodge them, then did a somersault backwards and threw the knife he had just received.

The weapon hit the man's chest. Blood slowly began to soak his dirty shirt.

Sasuke grunted.

Fool.

"I see you're not as harmless as you seem." One of the two left males said. Sasuke turned to face him.

The man quickly did hand signs, and in the blink of an eye several metallic blades were flying towards Sasuke. The young Uchiha dodged all of them, doing something that looked like an awkward dance. The man who had attacked him cursed.

"He's a fucking ninja, no doubt!", he screamed at his partner.

Sasuke carefully looked over to the dead man lying on the ground. The knife still stuck out of his chest. Sasuke thought about running and grabbing it, but abandoned the idea quickly. The two men in front of him began to do hand signs as well. Sasuke quickly figured out their intention- shadow clones. They appeared with a loud puffing noise and started to attack Sasuke soon after. The young Uchiha made a quick move, jumped, and performed the hand signs for chidori.

"Chidori", he shouted, throwing down on the two men who were hiding between the many shadow clones. A crackling lighting shot from Sasuke's hand and hit his two opponents right through their hearts.

He landed elegantly and safe on his feet His eyes flickered as he deactivated his sharingan.

"Fools", he said loud enough for the dying to hear. Sasuke rushed over to them, took all the weapons they had left, and then decided to go back to the place where all this had started. He would probably find some prey there… Sasuke knew it would be safer to just stay here and wait, but he was an Uchiha. That didn't match his pride.

So he began jumping from tree to tree, speeding towards the sound of clashing weapons and shouts.

Sasuke stopped abruptly when he heard a the noise of an explosion. It wasn't too far away.

What the hell was that? Sasuke tightened his grip on the knife. Explosions? Who was able to do something like that in here? This shouldn't be possible… He frowned before he changed his direction, heading towards the sounds of explosions to his left.

However, he was stopped soon after.

"My, who do we have here? If it isn't Sasuke, un…"

Sasuke didn't even need to look to know that it was Deidara.

"Deidara", he stated calmly.

"Danna!", The blond shouted. Sasuke heard someone landing on the ground behind him.

"Neh, Danna, what shall I do with him, un?"

Sasuke tensed. Something about the blonds voice was different.

The raven whirled around, just in time to see Deidara forming something that looked like a clay figure with his hands. He rose his arms, throwing the thing in the air. Sasuke gazed at the small white butterfly.

"I'll show you my art, un!"

Sasuke took a few steps backwards. What was the blond doing?

"Katsu!"

A deafening bang. Sasuke was thrown to the ground, shielding his eyes with his hands.

But it was over as soon as it had began.

Sasuke hastily jumped to his feet- only to find himself being cornered by Deidara, the trademark smirk plastered on the bomber's lips.

"Dei- da- ra."

Sasori appeared behind the blond. "Get away from the kid. Seven survivors, brat. That's more than enough, let him live."

Deidara pouted, but then retreated. "Guess you're right, un. I kinda liked him anyway, why not let him live."

Like you'd be able to kill me, Sasuke was tempted to say, but his mouth remained shut.

Sasori eyed him with something that could be curiosity.

"Already met someone?", the red head asked.

"Four. They are dead now."

Deidara laughed. "Good job!"

Sasuke didn't pay attention to the blond. "How many are left?", he asked Sasori.

"Deidara and I killed twelve already, you finished off four… let's say it's us three, and a handful of other poor souls."

Deidara took a step into Sasuke's direction. "Not to mention him."

Sasuke immediately knew who he was talking about. Deidara looked like he wanted to add something, but Sasori grabbed his sleeve and dragged him away.

"You' d better avoid him. He wouldn't hesitate to kill you, even if it isn't necessary."

Sasuke just nodded. Still a little bit stunned, he watched Sasori and Deidara run away.

He got a fright from a noise behind him. Sasuke spun around- and felt something spear his right shoulder. The knife he had been holding fell to the ground.

His gaze met dark, almost black eyes. The rest of the face was covered with a scarf.

"You...", the young Uchiha whispered.

He didn't even have the energy to try and attack the man in front of him. He just watched.

The stranger seemed to be caught by Sasuke's gaze as well, he didn't move, just stared at him.

Sasuke's eyes widened as he saw a man creep up behind him.

The brunette put a finger to his mouth before pulling out a kunai.

The raven haired man either didn't notice or he didn't care- but he didn't show any reaction.

Sasuke could do nothing but stare. The missile left the man's hand. It sped towards the stranger without making any sound.

And Sasuke was still staring. He watched the kunai coming closer, closer... It was like slow motion, every sound was muffled, damped, his surroundings blurred except the man in front of him and the flying missile-

"Down!", Sasuke screamed, lunged himself at the mysterious stranger, knocking him to the ground-

before he was hit in the stomach by the kunai and his vision faded. Sasuke slumped to the ground, feeling nothing but pain.

He didn't see the stranger standing up and setting the assailant on fire with a fireball jutsu.

He didn't feel the stranger scooping him up in his arms and running back to the wall.

And he didn't hear him whisper his name quietly, the scarf and the hood slipping down and revealing a pale, beautiful face, raven hair tied back in a pony tail, and two lines under eyes glowing crimson, gazing down at the boy in his arms almost lovingly.

...

A/N: tadah. Not that great, I know. But it is a chapter, okay? And I promise, this will get better as soon as I reach what I have kinda plotted already. I just never know how to get there... ;)

Anyway, hope you liked it!

If you had the time to read it, you could as well review! Even if you didn't like this- tell me what's bad about it, I REALLY want to know.

Thank you!


	6. Chapter 5 - Raven

I apologize for the wait.

Here's the new chapter, hope you like it!

Oh, and it's dedicated to - a late birthday present for you! Hope you had a nice day! 3

**...  
**

**Chapter 5 – Raven**

Itachi Uchiha silently watched the boy in his arms.

He was still unconscious, and Itachi didn't plan on being there when the raven woke up.

But for now, he was fine where he was. The older Uchiha tore himself away from the sight of his younger brother and looked around. He was sitting in his very own tent. He had the luck to sleep in a tent alone, maybe because he had scared -and threatened to kill- his former occupants, or maybe _they_ regarded it as some reward for his performances in the arena.

He once again looked down at his younger brother. Itachi took in his features; the slightly opened, soft lips, the pale porcelain skin and the black, almost blue bangs covering part of his delicate face.

Ten years had passed since he had last seen him…

Itachi felt a little stinging pain in his chest at the thought.

Ten years since he had killed his entire family.

Ten years since he had left Sasuke behind, leaving him without any memories.

He shook his head slowly, as if to drive away those thoughts.

The boy beneath him stirred a little, causing Itachi to carefully lift him up again, then carry him out of the tent, down the path to his own 'home'. He knew the tent would be empty, regarding how many occupants had died today. The others would probably be gone celebrating their doubtful victory.

Itachi was all the more surprised as he saw a red head sitting in the corner of the room. He seemed to be working on a stick with a small but sharp knife, but he looked up as soon as the Uchiha entered.

"Sasori." Itachi stated, sounding as distant and uninterested as always.

The young man gave him a quick nod before turning his attention back to his work.

Itachi slowly made his way through the sleeping- mats sprawled all over the dirty floor. He gently put Sasuke down and pulled a thin cover over the boy. He went to leave the tent, but was held back by Sasori.

"Itachi. Wait."

The raven haired man stopped.

"Is this your brother?", Sasori asked, keeping his voice as low as possible.

"I don't want anyone to know."

Sasori took this as a 'yes' and nodded. "Don't worry, I won't tell them. Not about your identity as well."

Itachi bent his head, just a tad, but Sasori noticed the gesture and smirked. "You can trust me."

Itachi left without another word.

…

"_Nii-san!" I screamed happily, grabbing my brother's sleeve and tugging at it._

"_What is it, Sasuke?"_

"_You are back!" I smiled at him, but he didn't return my smile._

_He just nodded, suddenly looking tired._

"_Sasuke."_

_The way he said my name made me let go of his arm, I looked up at him worriedly._

"_Aniki?"_

"_The mission was strenuous, I just want to rest."_

_Truly, he looked a bit exhausted- but still as perfect as ever._

_My smile vanished. "Okay", I said, although I wasn't okay with this at all. I had wanted to see my older brother again so badly- and now that he was here, he didn't have time for me._

_As always._

_Maybe he didn't _want_ to have time for me… Maybe he just regarded me as a useless, annoying little child._

_Itachi must have seen my disappointment, because he gestured me to come over to him._

_I wondered what he was about to do, but ran towards him anyway._

_He extended his right hand, I wanted to stop, but I wasn't fast enough._

_He poked my forehead with two fingers, an apologizing smile on his delicate lips._

"_Sorry, Sasuke. Next time, okay?"_

…

Sasuke slowly opened his eyes. What he saw was the dark green canopy of tent number 3. He moved to sit up but hissed at the sudden pain rushing through his shoulder and stomach.

How had he gotten back here? He should have died in the arena…

Sasuke looked down at his chest. Clean white bandages covered his wounds.

"You need to rest, but it will heal."

Sasuke started at the voice. It belonged to Sasori, who, as he now noticed, stood next to him.

"How…" Sasuke began, but fell silent. His mouth was dry, and his head felt heavy. He closed his eyes and swallowed before speaking up again.

"How did I get here?" He was fully aware of the fact that he sounded hoarse and weak, but right now, he didn't really care.

He was alive, that was all that mattered.

"Raven brought you here."

"Raven?", Sasuke repeated.

"Yeah. You saved his life, apparently."

Sasuke sighed. "The same goes for him, I guess."

He wanted to ask who 'Raven' was. But Sasori had already left.

Sasuke closed his eyes, suddenly feeling tired again.

Images flashed through his mind. Pictures of his past.

Why was he dreaming about his family so often recently?

Or… not his family. About Itachi.

Sasuke wanted to remember so badly. He just wanted to be able to recall those days whenever he felt like it. Nothing more.

He just wished he could remember more of his brother…

…

"Sasuke, wake up."

Sasuke opened his eyes and met Sasori's gaze.

"If you want to eat something, you should come with me."

He crawled out of the blanket and stood up. "My shirt."

Sasori turned around. "Forget it. It's all bloody."

Sasuke shrugged. "Don't care."

Sasori raised an eyebrow and made his way to the rear corner of the tent. There he started to rummage through a heap of clothes and tattered blankets, searching a wile before pulling out a once white shirt, and tossing it to Sasuke.

The raven haired boy scrutinized it closely before putting it on.

Two crimson stains dirtied it where the kunai had hit him, but Sasuke didn't care.

"That Raven", he said, looking at Sasori, "where can I find him?"

"I don't think that he wants to see you."

"I don't care. I need to see him."

Something about the red head's expression changed, but he tried not to let it show.

"And why is that?"

"None of your concern."

Sasuke turned to leave.

"Tent 13, you should know that already. If you're hungry, go look for the brat- err, Deidara, I mean" Sasori murmured. Sasuke left and began walking towards the tent at the end of the path.

What was it that made him go there? He had the weird feeling of knowing the young man… His eyes seemed strangely familiar, and Sasuke was almost he had seen him before.

He entered the tent without asking for permission, pushing the tarpaulin in the entrance aside before going in.

The tent was smaller than the one he shared with Deidara, Sasori and the others, but it was still spacious for just one person.

Sasuke for some reason hadn't really expected to meet the man here. The tent was empty, but he kept standing in the entrance, taking in his surroundings.

Sasuke was just about to turn around and leave, when somebody suddenly grabbed his wrists with one hand and held a knife to his throat with the other.

Sasuke jumped and wanted to wriggle out of the firm hold, but found that he couldn't move.

"What do you want?" A voice near his ear said. Sasuke couldn't help but shudder at the velvety sound of the voice.

"Thank you", he said simply. "I came to thank you."

Sasuke felt the grip loosen a little, the man didn't let go though. Sasuke closed his eyes, feeling his breath tickle the nape of his neck.

"That is not necessary."

Sasuke tried to turn his head a little. "You saved my life."

"I repaid my debts."

"You could've done that by just leaving me alive."

It was silent for a while, before Raven finally let him go. Sasuke turned to face him, wanting to say something- but he forgot what it was as soon as he looked into dark, deep eyes.

"You… I know you", he said, his word barely more than a whisper.

"I don't think so."

Sasuke shook his head slowly. "But… you remind me of someone."

Itachi felt a sting in his heart. Deep down, his little brother recognized him. Deep down he still knew and remembered him, in spite of the loss of his memories.

What should he say? Itachi had to be careful. He would have preferred not to have any contact at all. Because now, when he saw his baby brother standing in front of him, he could hardly resist the urge to take him in his arms and tell him the truth.

"And of whom?"

His voice was cold, he gave the young boy a bored look, even though he wanted nothing more than to put right everything he had done.

Sasuke thoroughly examined him, but he couldn't point out what exactly it was…

"Never mind. Forget what I just said. I just came to thank you. If there's anything I can do for you, let me know."

He turned around and left the tent without another word.

Itachi was left alone.

Sasuke had become cold and distant. He wondered if this was all his fault.

Probably yes.

Itachi watched the boy walking down the path and decided it would be better if he avoided Sasuke. He had done enough.

If Sasuke knew the truth about his older brother, he would hate him, without a doubt.

_And I'm better off just being nothing to him, than being the object of his hatred_, Itachi thought, a sad smile on his lips.

At least he had gotten to see his Outoto again.

...

Okay. I have to say it, but I REALLY hated this chapter. More than anything I've ever written before. I don't even know why, I just don't like it…

I wanted to give you something to read though, and this was kinda necessary for the plot etc etc… yeah.

I will be on hiatus for two weeks, because I'm leaving- going somewhere where I don't have any possibility to update. Argh.

Sorry for that- I'll try to make it up with the following chappies, I promise!

Love y'all for reading- those who reviewed and review have my love forever! ;)


	7. Chapter 6 - Memories, Dreams and Wishes

Hey there! I am back! Two weeks gone, that was so... internet-less... Argh.

However, here I am with a new chapter. I tried to make up for the fact that it took me so long to update...

Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 6 - Dreams and Wishes

...

Sasuke followed Deidara's lead, having been promised to be led where he could grab something to eat. From time to time, he casted wary glances at the blonde walking a few steps away from him. How Deidara had changed in the arena was still something totally strange and mysterious to the young Uchiha.

The bomber had looked at him as though he would kill him without hesitating. If Sasori hadn't stopped him, who knows what could have happened... Sasuke clenched his fist. He would be observant in future.

But for now, the blond seemed to be back to his normal self, talking all day, with that smirk plastered onto his lips.

"Say, Sasuke... How are you feeling, un?"

"Better."

Deidara looked like he wanted to ask something else, but decided otherwise.

"There. This room is kind of a refectory. Since you fought yesterday, and survived, they'll give you something to eat, un."

Sasuke just nodded and left Deidara standing at the entrance of the room quarried into the dark rock. He entered and found himself in a room with two long wooden tables and many chairs. At the other side was a counter, chiseled of the rock statrum.

Sasuke let his gaze wander around. A few men were sitting at one of the tables, but he knew none of them. Sasuke was about to walk towards the counter as he spotted an all too familiar figure sitting in the right rear corner.

The Uchiha thought about appoaching Raven, but just as he wanted to do so, the young man looked up and their eyes met.

Those dark orbs were so full of hatred that Sasuke involuntary flinched.

Raven's lips moved quietly.

_Don't come closer._

Sasuke didn't show any reaction. He just turned and went to the counter, ignoring the stinging pain in his side.

"I want some food."

The man in front of him exmined him with a bored look.

"Sasuke U-"

"Hn."

The man frowned, then handed him a bread and a bottle filled with water.

Sasuke left without another word. On the outside, however, he was stopped by five men who cut his way.

"Give us your food."

Sasuke just raised an eyebrow and tried to get past them- but he was stopped when they shoved him back.

One of them pulled out a knife. "Your food. Right now."

Sasuke tilted his head to the side. They were five, and they all had weapons. He didn't even carry some kunai or shuriken with him, and he could not use any of his jutsu in here without getting unwanted attention...

Before he could react, he felt something cold pressing against the skin of his neck.

Red flashed in black eyes, twirling before finding its final form, three dark spots surrounding the pupil.

The men froze.

"What the-" One of them whispered.

"No way..."

It took Sasuke a moment to realize what had happened. He quickly deactivated his Sharingan and pushed through the frightened men. They didn't make a move to stop him.

Sasuke walked back to his tent, suddenly feeling tired. His shoulder and side still hurt, and he had a headache as well...

He jumped when he felt a hand grab his wrist.

"What was that supposed to be?" Somebody hissed from behind. Sasuke turned, only to look into charcoal black eyes emphasized by two thin lines.

"What do you mean?" He asked coldly.

"You know what I mean, Sasuke _Uchiha_."

Sasuke flinched and tried to move back, but Raven still held his wrist in an iron grip.

"You should be more careful."

Sasuke tried to avert his gaze from those eyes, but he couldn't.

"Why would you care?"

He sounded bored, uninterested, despite the way he felt.

"If people here knew that you are an Uchiha, they would kill you in an instant."

The young man in front of him looked to the side for a few seconds.

"I didn't save you for you to get killed soon after."

For some reason he could not understand, Sasuke felt a stabbing pain in his heart.

"Let go", he murmured. Raven didn't respond. Instead, he moved closer and brought his lips to Sasuke's ear.

"I'm not going to save you a second time."

The young Uchiha felt his counterpart's breath tickle on his skin. That velvety voice, so close, so clear...

He had to restrain himself from shuddering.

"Neither am I."

His voice was low, barely more than a whisper. Raven strands of hair brushed against his neck and cheek as Raven moved back.

"Take care of your wounds. And stay away from me."

With these words said, he spun around and went away, leaving a confused Sasuke behind.

The young Uchiha retreated to his tent and sat down on his thin matress, beginning to eat the piece of bread he had received.

The tent was empty, which was pretty welcome for Sasuke. He needed time to arrange his thoughts.

First of all, he needed time to think about Raven...

The man knew that he was an Uchiha. He knew about his sharingan.

If he wanted to, he could blow Sasuke's cover up.

And, without a doubt, the raven haired boy would be in trouble if he did.

Sasuke was a strong fighter, but even he couldnt handle all the men that would go against him if his secret was revealed.

But Raven didn't seem like he wanted to give anything away...

Why?

Why had he saved Sasuke?

Why did he care?

The young Uchiha sighed and leaned back onto his matress.

It was already dark outside. He could hear Sasori and Deidara standing in the entance, discussing something.

Sasuke closed his eyes. His injuries still hurt, but he fell asleep after a while.

...

_I should be sleeping by now, but I wasn't. I was lying in my bed, eyes closed, listening for a sound from the outside._

_Once again, I was waiting for my brother to return from a mission._

_On the day he left, he had told me he would be back in three days, around evening._

_That day had been yesterday._

_The reason why I could not sleep was simple. _

_I was worried._

_I started when I heard the sound of a door being opened quietly and then closed again. The wooden floor creaked under cautious footsteps._

_I wanted to leap to my feet and run to see my Aniki, but I held back. _

_Maybe he wouldn't like it._

_Maybe he just wanted to be alone after an exhausting mission._

_So I stayed where I was, eyes still closed, listening to the sound of my brother's quiet footsteps._

_I was surprised when I heard him getting closer to my room. _

_He must've had passed the door to his bedroom now..._

_I heard him enter room. I wanted to open my eyes and see his beautiful face, but I kept pretending to be asleep._

_He approached my bed. A few seconds later, I felt my bed shift under his weight as he sat down. _

_A hand brushed my bangs out of my face._

_I almost shivered because of the tender touch._

_"Sasuke" he whispered._

_The springs of my bed squeaked a little as he leaned forward. I felt his arms on my sides, supporting his weight as he leaned over me._

_My heart began to thump as he came closer. Closer, until I felt his breath tickle on my lips. His silky hair touched my skin, and I felt a hand caressing my left cheek._

_"Outoto." His breath against my lips. "I... I love you."_

_My heart skipped a beat. I fought the urge to open my eyes with all I got._

_He seemed to hesitate, still just a few inches away from my face. After a few seconds had passed, he moved and placed a chaste kiss on my forehead._

_He started to slowly move away, wanting to stand up and leave- but my hands twined around his neck._

_Without thinking about it, I lifted my head and pressed my lips against his._

_I regretted it the second I did it._

_Itachi would hate me for this. _

_He would reject me. _

_He would never even look at me again._

_He would-_

_My mind went blank as Itachi started to return the kiss._

_..._

Sasuke woke with a start. He felt cold, despite beads of sweat rolling down his forehead.

He sat up, shivering slightly.

Could this have been another memory?

Or was it...

A _dream_?

_..._

_A wish...?_

That's it. Hope you like it!

Thanks to those who reviewed! You guys have my love! 3

R&R...?


	8. Chapter 7 - You will live

Next chapter, guys. I spent quite a lot of time writing this- turned out to be... not as good as I wanted it to be nevertheless. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 7 -

One week had passed since Sasuke had been captured and brought to 'the arena'. The last four days had gone by in a blur. The young Uchiha had spent these days training and exploring the grounds. He had found out that the gorge which was bordering the terrain was not only incredibly wide and so deep that one couldn't see its ground- but it was also shielded by a forceful field of chakra, preventing possible attempts of escape. Sasuke had never seen such a jutsu before, nevertheless he didn't doubt its might. The rocks bounding his prison on the opposite side were just as insurmountable.

He was caught. There was no way out.

This was when Sasuke realized it.

If there was really no way to escape from this place... he would die in here.

Most certainly, he would find his death in the arena.

That day may be far- but it would come. It was an inevitable fate.

Sasuke fell into some kind of numbness after realizing this. He started going to the training grounds every day, not knowing how else to spend the time that passed by so excruciatingly slow. Every day in the late afternoon, everyone would gather there to wait for the announcement that would tell them who was to die today.

That's what it was. For most of the men captured in here, hearing their tent number being announced was like a death sentence.

'_They_' had been in a good mood lately, Deidara said on the sixth day.

"Why?", Sasuke asked.

"They make us fight with time limits, not numbers. Or the numbers of survivors are set higher than usual, un..."

"Why?", Sasuke repeated.

The blond shrugged. "No idea, un."

Sasuke had seen Raven just two times, but the young man had just given him a death glare and then left. The young Uchiha still thought about what he had said the last time they talked. His words had been cold and void of any emotion- or so it seemed. Despite the man's always kept up facade, he felt like there was something more to it... something about these words...

But most of time, whenever he would lie awake in bed at night or sit and take a break from training, he would think about Itachi.

Sasuke's dream from four days ago still refused to leave his mind. As hard as he tried, those pictures would always appear in a flash before he woke up with a start, his face covered with a thin layer of sweat.

Were these really memories?

Were those words he heard his brother whisper in his dreams real?

Had they been said, more than ten years ago?

Sasuke felt that the more he thought about it, the more he felt his heart break. How could he forget that precious time they'd had back then? How could've he forgotten about Itachi?

On his eighth day in the arena, Sasuke went to the training grounds in the afternoon, accompanied by Deidara and Sasori.

He had gotten what you could call 'friends' with them in the time they had spent together- at least with Deidara. Although Sasuke didn't really trust the blond- his constantly cheerful nature was somewhat catching, even if the young Uchiha would never admit it, left alone let it show.

The evening before they had talked about his brother. It was the first time after all these years that Sasuke told anyone about his family, and even though he didn't entrust Deidara too much- somehow it felt good to have someone listening to him.

"Tell me about your family, un."

Sasuke, who sat near the fire they had lit outside of the tent just continued to stare into the darkness.

"I don't have any family."

He heard the bomber shifting and coming closer, sitting down next to him.

"Mind telling me?"

Sasuke hesitated. Did he really want to tell his 'comrade' about what had happened?

After quite a while, he answered.

"They were murdered ten years ago. Ever since then, I have been living alone."

Deidara looked at him, something in his eyes that could've been sympathy.

"Who did it, un?" He kept his voice quietly, seeming to understand that not everyone was meant to hear this.

"I don't know." Sasuke didn't look the blond in the eyes while talking. Otherwise, the young man might have seen the fragility hiding beneath the mask of apathy.

"That's terrible, un. Whoever has done this deserves to be dead."

"That's what my goal in life was. To avenge my clan."

_And to find my brother._

Deidara glanced at him from the side, and as if reading Sasuke's thoughts, he asked: "And there were no survivors except you?"

Sasuke swallowed. "There were."

The blond leaned in closer, examining him closely.

"Who else made it out alive, un?"

"My brother. He disappeared, but I know for certain that he did not die."

The bomber looked at Sasuke in surprise. "I didn't know you had a brother, un. Where is he?"

Sasuke clenched his fists. "Gone."

"Un?"

"I don't know!" He sounded angry and had spoken louder than wanted.

Deidara gave him an apologetical look. It was quiet for a while. Sasuke stared into the blazing flames of the campfire, loosing himself in thoughts.

He had begun this journey with Orochimaru in order to find Itachi... Now he had lost track of this intent. The young Uchiha felt his heart clench as he realized that he would probably never see his aniki again.

After ten years of uncertainty and loneliness, he had finally found a link to his brother- only to have his hope destroyed soon after. His thoughts were interrupted as Deidara started to talk again.

"Do you miss him?", he asked softly.

He tried to answer, but no words came out. Instead, Sasuke just nodded.

"I can well imagine how you must feel, un."

"You can't."

Deidara shrugged his shoulders, then stood up and left. Sasuke sighed and leaned back, looking up into the night sky. Like that, he fell asleep.

...

_"Sasuke." On the basis of Itachi's tone of voice, I could already tell he wanted to say something serious. _

_"What's it, aniki?", I asked._

_Three days had passed since we had kissed. In the evenings and at night I would lie awake in my bed, hoping for my brother to come to my room. I could still feel his flavor on my lips, sweet, but subtle. I missed the warmth he had given me. The feeling of his soft lips moving against mine._

_"We have to talk about the kiss."_

_I tried to smile, though feared what I knew he would say next._

_He sat down next to me, his shoulder touching mine. _

_"This... is not a thing for brothers to do."_

_I swallowed. "Why, aniki?"_

_He turned his head to look down at me. A gentle, but somewhat sad smile graced his lips. _

_"It's wrong, outoto. Remember that."_

_I felt anger welling up inside of me. Why did he say this now? And why had he returned the kiss in the first place?_

_"Then why did you-_

_"It was a mistake. I shouldn't have done it."_

_His voice was cold, once again. Tears started to fill my eyes, and although I tried to hide it, a single one made it's way down my cheek. I bit my lip, suddenly being angry with myself as well._

_"I'm sorry, Sasuke." Itachi wiped away the tear with a delicate finger. I looked up at him and met his gaze, but his eyes were empty._

_"Sorry", he repeated._

_..._

Sasuke woke with a start.

Another memory...

He slowly began to take in his surroundings. He was still outside of the tent, the fire had long stopped burning, but he didn't feel cold. It took Sasuke a while to notice that someone had draped a blanket over him.

He tossed it aside and got up. The sun was already setting, and Sasuke made his way to the training grounds.

He had dreamed of his past and Itachi more and more often recently.

_If only I could remember more after waking up... If only I could remeber my brother's face._

The young Uchiha went past Raven's tent but stopped to throw a glance inside. It's occupant had already left, so Sasuke moved on.

Getting to the training grounds, he spotted a familiar person on the other side of the square.

"Raven", he said quietly. The man turned around, facing Sasuke. Once again the young Uchiha had a strange feeling of familiarity.

"You are participating in the fight today."

Sasuke gasped in surprise. "How do you know?"

Raven didn't answer, instead he turned away and pulled out some shuriken.

"What about you?", the boy behind him asked.

"I will go too."

Sasuke took a deep breath. "Are you going to kill me?", he asked. He didn't even know _why _he said it. Somehow, he acted different around Raven, without even wanting it.

"I said it once. I didn't save you just for you to die soon after."

He sounded bored, almost annoyed.

"And if there's only one survivor allowed today?"

Raven took his time to answer.

"You will live."

...

"The rules for today's fight." The voice coming out of a speaker hidden somewhere around resounded. "The participants have thirty minutes before the fight is over."

Thin smiles. Sasuke's expression didn't change, for he didn't care anyway. He eyed Raven from the side, taking in his profile. For some reason, he couldn't avert his gaze from the young man.

"The fight will begin in two minutes."

Sasuke forced himself tear himself away from the sight of the raven haired man next to him and started to run off.

The arena had the appearance of a forest again, so the terrain seemed slightly familiar. This time, Sasuke didn't move as far away from the place where they started like he had done the last time, instead he stopped after what felt like a minute, pulled out the knife he had won in his first fight, and waited.

"Ten."

The countdown started.

A crack sounded behind Sasuke.

"Nine."

The young Uchiha whirled around, his knife upraised. In front of him stood a man, grinning like a lunatic, holding two daggers; one in each hand. Sasuke felt his muscles tense.

"Four."

The countdown resounded from somewhere far away.

"You're going to die, boy."

Sasuke looked at the man who had voiced the threat."

"You don't have to fight me."

The man started to laugh. Sasuke stood still, not moving an inch, just staring at him.

"Are you serious? I'm going to kill you! Don't you know that-

"One... Begin!"

A repugnant sound as metal met flesh. A shadow, backin away as soon as red blood splattered all over a limp body and extended hands. Crimson orbs twirling into Sharingan, and a smirk playing on thin, delicate lips for just a second.

Then Sasuke picked up the two daggers and turned around- just in time to see a sword stabbing towards him. The weapon punctured his left arm, and Sasuke gasped at the pain. Tamed lightning crackled as he raised his right hand, but he was stopped by a fist hitting his stomach.

"Nice of you, to fall for our little trick..."

Four men were standing in front of him, grinning gloatingly.

"At least our little victim made itself useless before dying!" One of them laughed, another raised a knife and threw it at Sasuke. He attempted to dodge it, but found that he couldn't move.

"What's your intention?"

"Not the time for you to ask questions. And, isn't it obvious?"

"Why did you block my chakra?"

Sasuke was angry at himself for not being more careful. He should have activated his sharingan... Well, it was too late now. All he could do was hope for a miracle.

Sasuke closed his eyes, trying to think of a way to escape his situation. There was most certainly no use in talking to these people. All they wanted was to murder, even if it wasn't necessary.

The young Uchiha bit his lip as he felt a sharp pain in his left arm. The sword still sticking in his flesh was being twisted, widening his wound and increasing his pain.

Was this his death?

Was he going to die so soon?

...

_"I love you, Sasuke."_

_Soft lips moving against mine, a tender yet passionate touch. One hand caressing my cheek, the other resting on my hips. Silky strand of raven hair brushed my skin, hot breath mingled with mine as our lips met again._

_"I love you too, aniki."_

_..._

_Sasuke..._

"Sasuke..."

Sasuke stirred, but he wasn't able to move.

"Sasuke."

He opened his eyes, but all he could see was the trees and their branches bending in a mild breeze. They seemed so far away...

"Sasuke!"

He wanted to lift his head, but he couldn't.

Someone dropped to the ground next to him. A hand found his fingers.

"You're going to be fine."

_This voice..._

Sasuke managed to turn his head.

"This is the second time already..."

Black eyes looked at him with something that could have been sorrow.

"You have to be more careful. They could have killed you."

He sounded emotionless as always... then why did he care?, Sasuke wondered. But he remained quiet.

But as his savior let go of his hand and stood up, Sasuke couldn't help but call out his name.

"Raven... wait."

...

Didn't really happen anything, I know. Don't be too angry at me. Next upload is soon to come.

Thanks to those who reviewed! 3

And please, if you had the time to read this, you could as well type a few letters... would be nice! Even if you didn't like it!


	9. Chapter 8 - Long Lost Love

Hello there! First of all, I want to thank those who reviewed! You are what keeps this story going and gives me the inspiration to write, no matter how hard it might be sometimes- **thank you! **Especially since this is the first fanfic I've ever written (am still writing...), I really need the support. I love you guys, honestly.

Naahw, here's the next chapter. Hope you like it!

...

* * *

**Chapter 8 - Long Lost Love**

Sasuke was still conscious, but he barely registered anything that happened around him. Although he had his eyes open, his vision was blurred and distorted. All he could feel was the pain pulsating through his entire body, taking over his mind and letting his last clear thoughts vanish into darkness. It wasn't only the stab wound in his arm- the injuries of the last fight in the arena had torn open again, too. Sasuke felt dazed at the loss of blood, and as much as he tried to regain control over his body, he could do nothing but lay on the blood drenched ground, listening to the sounds of the other men fighting further afield.

_Where... _

_Where are you...?_

Sasuke wasn't even sure who he was thinking of. Itachi?

...Raven?

The young man had left him here. But what was he expecting? They barely knew each other. Sasuke had saved him, but Raven had returned his favor. He had, as he had said himself, repaid his debts.

Then why had he come to help Sasuke at all? Why had he killed his enemies, and stopped them from killing the young Uchiha?

"The last three minutes are beginning now." The voice resounded from far away and the words only reached Sasuke muffled and muted- but he heard them. Somewhere in the back of his mind he realized what they meant. Three more minutes, and he was going to be safe. If someone found him before the time ran out- he knew how it would end.

He closed his eyes as he felt his body go limp. Like this, he had no chance to survive. Was he still too weak to make it on his own, after all these years of training?

Sasuke felt almost sad as he realized it- he wouldn't really care. Did he have anything worth living for? No. Not anymore. Not here.

_Itachi. _

His eyes shot open. Was there still hope for him to see his brother again?

Somehow, Sasuke felt himself regain some force at this thought. Maybe, just maybe...

He would see him again. He would find a way to escape this prison.

With those thoughts, he fell unconscious.

...

_I sat underneath an old tree, leaning against its trunk and listening to the sound of the leaves rustling in a light breeze. I had been watching Itachi as he practised with shuriken, but now he made his way over to me, approaching with long, light steps. A small, gentle smile was playing on his lips, making me feel warm and comfortable for reasons I didn't understand. My heart started to beat faster as he sat down next to me. We were closer than necessary, his side pressing against mine. I struggled with myself a little, before I finally shifted to rest my head on his shoulder._

_"Don't you have to train, aniki?" I asked quietly, not wanting to break the calming silence that surrounded us. _

_"I do."_ _That was all he said, but it was enough to surpise me. Itachi had always been hard-working and conscientious, continually training and learning although he already was high over the average. He was, after all, a true prodigy._

_"Why are you doing this, then?" I asked carefully._

_"Doing what?"_

_Maybe it was just my imagination, but it sounded like Itachi chuckled quietly. I smiled and moved closer, my fingers touching his as I did so._

_"Spend time with me."_

_Itachi turned his head t look down at me. I met his gaze and once again lost myself in his onyx colored eyes. His expression was serious, nevertheless, I thought, was he the most beautiful person I'd ever seen in my young life._

_"You are my brother, Sasuke."_

_I wanted to avert my gaze, wanted to try and hide my feelings from him since I knew they were all reflecting in my eyes- but I couldn't._

_Instead, I asked him what had been bothering me for a long time now._

_"Aniki... Do you really care for me?" I bit my lip as I heard how much my voice was quivering, but I couldn't help hit. _

_Itachi's eyes softened. "Of course I do."_

_But that was all he said. It wasn't enough. _

_"Do you... do you love me?", I whispered. _

_My thoughts rushed back to the night when he had dome to my room after a mission. The night when we had shared a kiss. That time, he had told me. He had spoken those words that made my heart go faster and caused me to smile, feeling truly happy. _

_But as time passed, I wasn't sure if I had just imangined it, imagined him whispering 'I love you' between soft yet passionate kisses- and I wanted to hear it again._

_"I do", was his simple answer, his voice not holding any emotions. I swallowed, feeling tears well up in my eyes. I raised a hand to wipe them away angrily, but my brother stopped me. He gently put my hand back down before he moved forward to kiss away a single tear that was rolling down my cheek,_

_"I love you, Sasuke. Never doubt that."_

_I nodded, then looked up again, this time facing Itachi like this on purpose. _

_"Aniki... Can you... Can you kiss me?" I sounded weak, insecure, and I knew it, but for now I didn't care. _

_I didn't even understand the whole meaning of my seemingly simple question._

_Itachi slowly shook his head. "Don't you remember what I told you about this, Sasuke?"_

_"I do!" I said hurriedly. "That it's not a thing for brothers to do... but why, aniki?"_

_"People judge and despise this kind of... love", Itachi answered, seeming to consider every single word he said. "One day you'll understand."_

_I felt like crying again, but I didn't want to look weak in front of my brother. Instead, I clenched my fists before I tangled my hands around his neck to pull him down, while I looked up so that our faces were just inches apart from each other. _

_"Sasuke", Itachi sad warningly, but I didn't react._

_"We're alone out here! People don't need to know! They won't see it!"_

_I fell silent as he neither responded nor moved._

_"We... just this once, aniki. Just one more time-_

_I was stopped when he pressed his lips to mine. I closed my eyes and kissed back, savoring his taste and the feeling of my brother's soft lips against mine. He wrapped his arms around my back while I pulled him even closer. I moaned into the kiss and he used the opportunity to slip his tongue inside my mouth. Our kiss lasted long, but eventually we broke apart in the need for air, me panting heavily and Itachi smiling. His eyes remained sad. _

_"This was the last time, Ot__ōto__."_

_I sighed, but for the moment I was too content to complain. I crawled into his lap and leaned my head against his chest, closing my eyes and whispering: "I love you, too, Aniki..."_

_..._

Sasuke woke up, but he didn't open his eyes. Instead, he let images of his dream ghost through his mind. He had come to accept that he constantly dreamed of Itachi nowadays. But he was still slightly _confused_, and somewhat disgusted with himself, that he also dreamed about things such as him and his older brother _kissing. _It just felt wrong.

At the same time, recalling his dream now, Sasuke felt... _happy. _Those were memories, not just dreams.

Itachi had loved him.

And he, Sasuke realized as he smiled weakly, had loved his brother. With all his heart.

And he still did.

...

He lay on a hard subsoil, surrounded with nothing but deadly silence. His entire torso was bandaged, so was his arm. His head felt heavy, a dull pain throbbing inside. Sasuke shifted and tried to ignore the sharp pain cursing through his body, but a quiet groan escaped his lips nevertheless.

"Finally awake?"

He recognized the reserved voice immediately. Sasori.

The young Uchiha opened his eyes, only to see that he was back inside their tent.

"Have you-

"The... _staff_... brought you out of the arena after the fighting was over. They took care of your wounds, but brought you back here after that. You're lucky that I'm taking care of you now, you could've died otherwise."

"Thank you, then." Sasuke still sounded hoarse and weakened.

"Oh. You should thank whoever had the mercy to spare you in the arena."

Sasuke shifted and sat up. His ribs hurt like hell, not to mention the bandaged wound, but he ignored it for the moment.

"...Raven."

"Huh?"

Sasuke smiled a thin smile, before lying back down and closing his eyes again. "He saved me."

...

Itachi sat in his tent with his back leaned against a pile of pillows, eyes shut. He heard someone approaching, but chose to ignore it for now. But when that somone shoved the tarpaulin which covered the entrance aside and stomped in, he looked up with a bored expression- only to see a quite pissed looking Sasori standing there with his arms crossed.

"Didn't you say you'd stay away from him?"

Itachi's expression didn't change. "And I asked you to take care of him."

Sasori took in a deep breath. "First of all: You're not in the position to tell me what to do. Second; yes, you did, and I said I would keep an eye on him. But what am I to do in the arena? He has to take care, god damnit!"

Itachi sighed. "How is he now?"

Sasori bit his lip, obviously angry that the elder Uchiha had completely ignored his rant. "I guess he will make it. He has slept for almost three days now- I'm surprised you didn't pay him a visit yet-", Sasori remarked, "- and he has a fever. I don't have the necessary medicine to cure him properly. His wounds are probably inflamed, that's why his temperature's higher than normal."

Itachi nodded. "Tell me when it gets worse."

"Just stay away."

Itachi tilted his head to the side, looking at the red head.

"Itachi, I'm serious. If they find out, who knows what they'll do to him? Even if they don't know that he's your brother- it would already be enough to see that you two are close. Don't let Sasuke get attached to you. Just stay away from him.I know that you have a high self-restraint, but you're somewhat... impulsive when it comes to your brother. I promise, I will take care of him."

"I promise. And I know you will, Sasori. "

Sasori bent his head before leaving the tent. He knew this was Itachi's way to thank him, but he was still annoyed by the Uchiha's ever so calm personality. Plus, he doubted that Itachi would keep his promise and stay away from Sasuke. Even if he wanted to- the Uchiha probably _couldn't_.

...

Sasuke felt horrible. The nights were constantly getting colder, and he felt like he was freezing to death. At the same time, his skin was burning like it was on fire. It was after midnight already, but he couldn't sleep.

He kept thinking about what had happened earlier that day...

* * *

_The tent was empty. Sasuke had woken from a feverish dream, now he sat, clutching at his side and panting. The pain was almost unbearable._

_Maybe that was the reason why he didn't hear, see or feel him enter. _

_Only when he looked up for a second, he saw Raven standing there, watching him quietly. His gaze held something that could have been worry._

_"How are you feeling?"_

_Sasuke couldn't help but stare at the man. This face... those eyes, and his voice..._

_"Raven, I-_

_"You need to rest. Don't tell anyone that I was here."_

_"Are you leaving already?"_

_"I have to."_

_He turned to leave the tent. "Wait...", Sasuke whispered._

_But Raven didn't react. Once again, he left Sasuke behind._

* * *

When finally the young Uchiha fell asleep, he drifted into feverish dreams, writhing with silent pain. At some point of the night Sasuke was half awake- but he couldn't escpae the terrifying images flashing through his mind. He wrapped himself up in the thin blanket, attempting to alleviate the cold, but it didn't help. He rolled onto his side- only to feel a stabbing pain rush through his entire body.

Sasuke screamed at the top of his lungs.

The pain, those dreams, the mix of heat and coldness- it was too much. In the back of his mind he knew that no one would hear him.

The tent's occupants had left to celebrate, a rare occasion in here. Even Sasori had agreed to join them. Therefore, Sasuke was alone.

He began to shiver, still not totally conscious, despite perceiving his surroundings in a haze.

He flinched when he felt someone put his arms around his neck and hips, then he was gently lifted from the ground. Before Sasuke could react, he was outside, gazing at the stars in the clear night sky.

Just moments after, everything turned black again.

...

The first thing Sasuke felt was that he wasn't freezing anymore. He slowly opened his eyes and his gaze fell on the dark tarpaulin of a tent. It was definitely not tent number 3...

He shifted carefully- and started as he felt something warm against his back. He tilted his head a little, and saw Raven, eyes closed, his black hair losely falling out of the usual pony tail. Sasuke wanted to sit up, but he was suddenly pressed back down. Onyx colored eyes snapped open, looking down and captivating Sasuke. He could've sworn that he saw something red twisting in their dephts, only for a split second.

"Raven..." He murmured. The shadow of a smile darted across his lips, gone in a split second.

"You need to rest." The voice seemed to calm him down. Sasuke realized that his head was resting in the young man's lap, but strangely, he didn't care. He sighed and closed his eyes again. A few moments later, he felt a hand touch his forehead, just a light contact.

"You still have a fever", Raven stated. His hand didn't move.

"Say, Raven... Do you have a younger brother?"

* * *

Okay, I am _**so sorry **_for the many little time skips in this chapter, I was getting annoyed myself, and it's probably horrible to read. Nevertheless, it was necessary. I just wanted you to know that I am fully aware of da shit.

Aside from that, I hope you enjoyed reading!

I apologize for the lack of lemons. Really. But I don't like things rushed, and technichally, Sasuke and 'Raven' just met, so... But _**I promise that there will be lemons. EVENTUALLY.**_

Bye for now, thanks for reading- reviews are appreciated though. (Understatement of the year. I love you forever if you review.) 3


	10. Chapter 9- Honesty

Hello everyone. I started writing this on wednesday, planning on updating thursday around evening- and I ended up staring at a blank document. I'm really suffering a terrible writers block here . I know what I want to write and where I want my story to go, but I don't know _how _to write it! This would never happen to me in my natural language lol... I'm so sorry if this is terrible, but it was the best I could come up with, and I didn't want to make you wait too long. So... sincerest apolpgies! :)

Anywhoooo... here's the chapter.

...

**Chapter 9 - Honesty**

_Previously: … "Say, Raven… do you have a younger brother?"_

The hand resting on Sasuke's forehead recoiled. Silence hung in the air, filling the dimly lit room, the single candle flickering in the right rear corner letting their shadows become visible on the tent's tarpaulin, which was colored in a creamy white on the inside. Sasuke, despite feeling limb and tired, could've sworn that Raven tensed. What seemed like a perfectly normal question withheld so much more- at least for Sasuke. He wondered if the same went for Raven. If his suspicions were to be true…

The young Uchiha almost regretted having closed his eyes. He wanted to see his savior's face, wanted to know if it was expressionless as always, or if, for once, it showed some emotion. A hint of a reaction, confirming that Sasuke was right.

A quiet sigh escaped Raven's lips. "No." The single word broke the silence, shattered the last bit of hope that Sasuke had left. He suddenly felt sick again, the dull pain throbbing through his entire body returned. He didn't say anything, wanting to forget and just fall asleep. Maybe dream of his past once more, remember those happier days he had spent with Itachi.

"Do you?" Raven asked after a while.

"No." Sasuke sounded hoarse, and not only that- he sounded broken. For the first time after what felt like eternity, he let his emotions show. "I had an older brother." The nostalgia connected with sadness was clearly audible in his voice. He shut his eyes tighter as he felt tears welling up. He didn't want Raven to see more of his weakness.

"Had?" The man repeated questioningly, voice void of any emotion. Sasuke hesitated, before starting to talk. "My entire family was murdered ten years ago. My brother disappeared that day, but he's still alive."

Sasuke's skin still felt like it was on fire. He could barely talk, but right now he forced himselft to do.

"How do you know?"

Sasuke gulped. "I never saw his corpse. And I… I would_ feel _it. I know he's somewhere out there."

"Did you share a strong bond with your brother?" Raven sounded different, but Sasuke still couldn't exactly point out what it was.

The tears swelling behind his closed eyelids threatened to escape as he opened his eyes for a few moments, gazing up directly into Raven's onyx colored orbs. Sasuke considered telling the young man the truth. He deserved it, after having saved him. Not only physically, Sasuke realized now- he also _felt_ safe.

"I always admired my brother. He was… perfect. Of course we were brothers, but what we had went beyond what is permissible like brotherly love."

Eyes shut again, Sasuke bit his lip. He couldn't hold back the tears. He had never talked to anyone about this matter before. He hadn't even realized his feelings until a few days ago. He felt lost, hopeless, and sick at the same time.

"So… did you love him?" Raven asked cautiously, barely more than a soft whisper. Sasuke felt a warm hand caressing his cheek in an almost soothing way.

"I did." Was all he could say. He felt himself being pulled closer to the man holding him. Sasuke rested his head against Raven's chest, and like this, let sleep overwhelm him.

Itachi looked down at his younger brother sleeping in his arms.

"I'm sure he loved you too" He whispered.

...

Three days passed without Sasuke waking up. He would sometimes sit up or scream in febrile delirium, but he never really woke. All the while he stayed in Itachi's tent. His brother only left it when it was absolutely necessary. Sasori had come to his tent the day after their little party. He had found the two brothers sleeping next to each other, Itachi's arms protectively wrapped around Sasuke and the younger boy cuddled to his chest. Of course Itachi's eyes had snapped open, sharingan flashing and pinning the red head with a death glare.

"You're making a mistake, _Itachi_" Sasori hissed through gritted teeth.

Itachi nodded. "I'm aware."

Sasoi examined the younger Uchiha. He was pale, his forehead shone with a thin layer of sweat. His left hand held Itachi's arm tight.

"You know how this is going to end." Sasori had his brows furrowed, leaving Itachi to wonder why he cared at all.

"I don't. Nobody can know how things are going to be, Sasori."

The red head shrugged, then turned and left. Itachi looked at Sasuke. His eyes moved behing closed lids, as if he was having a nightmare...

...

_I was standing on the wooden porch in front of our house, watching the sundown. Staring into the golden strays of light breaking through the clouds, I lost myself in thoughts. I was worried. Itachi had been different for the last few days. More distant and cold than ever, he didn't even let his emotions show around me anymore. It hurt me, and I felt like all his words had just been said to calm me. Maybe I was just being a burden to him, and he was annoyed by my presence. Thinking this, I had tried to keep a little more distance. Itachi hadn't shown any reaction. His face was expressionless, his eyes were empty. Ever since the day when we had kissed underneath the tree, promising that it would be the last time and agreeing on keeping it our secret forever, Itachi and I hadn't spoken more than necessary. He almost ignored me; whenever he walked past me he would just throw a quick glance at me, then leave me where I was. I had started to spend more time with training. I gave my best, trying to be as good as my brother was. But deep down, I knew I would never be. Still, I kept trying to top him at everything- which resulted in me thinking of him as something close to a rival. I couldn't help myself, and before I knew it, I already doubted my feelings towards him. He was my brother and he had told me that brothers weren't meant to kiss and hold each other, that they shouldn't even think of, let alone wish for it- yet I was craving his touch. At the same time, I wanted to be better than him. I wanted people to look at me and see__** me**__- not Itachi's younger brother. Everbody compared me to him. And no matter what the subject was- I lost. Itachi was my rival. Not because I had chosen him to be, but because people forced me to think of him that way._

_I started when I heard quiet footsteps behind me. I turned around and spotted Itachi walking up the wooden stairs. I was being diverted as I heard the sound of someone coming out of our house, walking towards me and Itachi._

_Something felt wrong. There was a tension in the air that caused shivers to run down my spine, and I felt myself gripping the banister tightly. I didn't dare to move, I just stood there, staring at my brother and my father slowly walking towards each other. Itachi's gaze was lowered to the ground, but not in a respective manner. His black bangs covered most of his face. Our father seemed to be piercing through him with his gaze. They met, and I almost expected Itachi to activate his sharingan. But he didn't. Nothing happened. Neither father nor my brother acknowledged each other in any way. _

_Even after they had left, I still felt tense. What the hell was going on? And what was wrong with Itachi? I was worried... at the same time, I was incredibly angry._

_..._

Sasuke was alone. Back in his own tent, he sat on the ground, feeling slightly sick. At least he had left the state of febrile delirium now, and he was able to talk and move on his own again. He still felt horribly weak and exposed, but he had to bear with it. This morning he had woken up and found that he was back to tent number three. He had tried to stand up and get some food, since he felt like he was starving, but Sasuke had collapsed as soon as he stood on his feet. So he decided to wait.

Now he was sitting with his back leant against a pylon, trying to recall what had happended during the last days. But as hard as he tried, the last memory he had was Raven's face. The young man was looking down at him, raven hair framing his face. His eyes looked a_live_, actually. His lips were showing a thin but beautiful smile... But maybe his memories were deceiving him, Sasuke thought.

He was just about to try and stand up again when Deidara entered the tent. The blond was panting heavily and his hair was a mess. He looked like he had been running the whole way to Sasuke.

"Have you seen Sasori?" He uttered between short breaths.

"No, why-

"They are going to announce something improtant. You should go, too."

Sasuke sighed. "Alright. What is-

But the blond had already dashed off. Sasuke frowned. He didn't feel well enough to walk the whole way to the training grounds, but there was no choice anyway.

I've been lucky these past days, he thought. What would they have done if I had to go ti the arena? If someone was as good as not able to fight or even run, would they still make them participate?

He'd ask Sasori later, Sasuke decided.

...

Sasuke had never seen all the prisoners gathered in one place. There was no way he would count them, but he guessed they were round about 600. Where did they all come form?

Once again, the young Uchiha wondered what exactly this place was. What were the people running 'the arena', most of the time being referred to as 'them' gain from making strangers kill each other? This was sick. Places like this one shouldn't exist, even ina world like this one. His thoughts were cut when a loud voice resounded.

"We hereby announce a change of the rules."

There was no one to be seen, so the voice must've been from a speaker again, Sasuke assumed. It suddenly went uncomfortably silent.

"From now on, there shall be duels once a week. The participants will be chosen by coincidence. They are to fight until one of them dies."

A collective gasp, but no protests were heard. Sasuke clenched his fists. Duels? This was- He paused as he spotted Raven, standing at a distance from the crowd. Without really noticing it, a smile made it's way onto Sasuke's lips. He ignored the voice announcing some other new rule, and made his way over to the young man. Raven noticed him, turned, and shook his head no. Sasuke stopped.

_Don't come any closer_, Raven mouthed.

The younger Uchiha stared at him. Why? Was this for his own good, as he had said? Or was he simply being rejected?

"...Sasuke Uchiha..."

Sasuke found everyone staring at him.

What was going on? His name had just been announced- but in what context-

"...will fight Deidara."

Sasuke felt his knees go weak. This couldn't be happening. He suddenly felt light-headed, stumbled a few steps backwards as his vision blurred, and then fell to the ground. The next thing Sasuke knew was that Raven knelt by his side.

"Get up" He hissed. Sasuke tried, but his legs gave in. His hands were shaking, and he was sweating. "Sasuke. Get. Up. Now."

Sasuke was somehow managed to get up on his feet. He swayed, but Raven caught and supported him.

"The two participants are to be in the arena in thirty minutes."

That was the last thing Sasuke heard before collapsing once more, and then being lifted up by someone in a not so gentle manner.

"You're going to die" Someone whispered into his ear.

...

Yes, I know. But it's 3:30 in the morning and I haven't slept for 27 hours. (Baaad excuse, I know x) )

Tell me what you think!


	11. Chapter 10 - Prodigy

**Chapter 10 – Prodigy**

Sasuke opened his eyes but his vision was still darkened. He attempted to raise his hands in order to get rid of the piece of clothing that was blocking his eyesight, but found that his wrists were tied behind his back. He shifted on the uncomfortably hard ground and got onto his knees, wanting to stand up- but he was shoved back down. Crimson swirled in his onyx eyes as Sasuke activated his Sharingan. Only seconds later the blindfold was removed and the young Uchiha glared into pale golden, snake-like orbs.

"You have ten minutes left." This voice, always withholding a malicious tone, a suppressed scornful laughter. The smirk that revealed sharp little teeth, making him look all the more like a snake in human form.

In a split second Sasuke jumped onto his legs and aimed a kick at Orochimaru's stomach, but the man dodged his attack, smirking as Sasuke winced at the sharp pain shooting through his side.

"You broke your promise" He hissed, once again attacking Orochimaru- without success.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Bastard" Sasuke growled. He pulled at his ties with all his strength, and finally they tore, falling to the ground and allowing Sasuke to move. He performed hand signs, arms still behind his back, before raising his left hand. Tamed lightning crackled as he ran towards Orochimaru, bathing the dimly lit room in unnaturally blue light.

"Chidori!"

Orochimaru stepped to the side, but it was too late. The young Uchiha struck his chest, causing his enemy to hiss at the pain and stop moving momentarily. Sasuke took advantage of this and formed a blade out of pure electricity. Without hesitating he stabbed through the man's chest. Orochimaru's eyes widened and he coughed up blood. A smirk made it's way onto Sasuke's lips. He took a step closer, twisting the crackling blade.

Little did he wonder why Orochimaru made no attempt to fight back…

"Where is my brother?" A voice cold as a winter's clear night sky, onyx eyes staring into golden ones.

"So you… didn't find out… yet."

Crimson pierced gold with burning hatred, visible despite the apparent apathy.

"What do you mean?" He didn't sound confused in the least, but threatening. His voice was thick with hatred and a suppressed but nontheless burning passion that Orochimaru didn't quite understand.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you. I've fulfilled my part of the deal."

The young Uchiha gave him another hateful glance before pulling out the lightning-blade and slowly letting it disappear, and took step back.

"Your time is running out, Sasuke…"

Another glance. "I'm not going to fight Deidara. Plus, my wounds aren't even close to being fully healed yet."

The man smiled with his head held to one side. "You have no choice." A snake crept out of his sleeve. Sasuke watched in disgust as the man before him slowly transformed into several slimy white snakes.

What the hell was going on-?

Before Sasuke could react, he felt a hand being placed on his shoulder.

"Did you know that refusing to fight is punished with death?"

The young Uchiha shook his head, but it was not the question he was saying no to.

"I'm not going to fight and kill Deidara. They are going to lose two good fighters if I do."

He whirled around, grabbing Orochimaru's wrist. But it slipped from his grasp, once again changing into a snake's form.

"I have a trade to offer" Orochimaru said calmly.

Sasuke raised a single eyebrow in question.

"You can let somebody else go instead of you. Someone who's chosen randomly. And, if that's what you want, for Deidara as well…"

Sasuke didn't react.

Let himself be replaced? That was… despicable. It was shameful.

But was there any other way for him to survive? Sasuke didn't care for the men out there. They were strangers to him, and he had no intentions to change that. Nevertheless, he felt bad for deciding to agree on Orochimaru's offer. Not because he felt pity for the two unlucky people who would have to fight instead- but because he felt like he was avoiding danger. He had been saved by Raven two times already. Sasuke wanted to be able to take care of himself. He had always been, why should that change in here?

And if he was really just living for himself, then it didn't matter anyway.

"I'm accepting your offer."

…

"All captives are to come to the training grounds."

Itachi had been sitting with his back leant against the dark rock, allowing himself to indulge in old memories. His closed eyes slowly opened and he pushed his hair back from his face before renewing his ponytail. It was approximately ten minutes until the duel in the arena would start. Itachi had withdrawn to a quiet and lonely place to think about what he would do.

He didn't doubt Sasuke's abilities. But his little brother was injured, he was still weak. Had it been any other prisoner; he wouldn't have worried. But Deidara was different. The blond bomber was skilled, and his appearance often caused people to underestimate him. Itachi had fought Deidara once, and he'd been inpressed by the man's abilities. He respected Deidara, even though he had defeated the blond. For that very reason he'd let the bomber live. Itachi didn't like to kill people for nothing.

He allowed a quiet sigh to escape his lips as he gracefully got onto his feet and began to walk down the path to the training grounds.  
What had happened? Was there a chance that Sasuke had been dismissed? The older Uchiha walked by a group of men who were probably on the way to the training grounds as well. Upon seeing him, they stopped talking and moved to let him pass. Itachi ignored them, knowing that they would only be afraid if he acknowledged their presence by looking at them.

Itachi Uchiha had been brought to the arena one and a half years ago. Ever since then, he had followed their will. Being brought to the prison, he had shared a tent with some other men at first. All too soon he had been summoned to the fighting arena. Unfortunately, that day had been one of those feared dates when only one man was allowed to leave the arena again. That man had been Itachi. From that occurrence on, everybody had respected him. A pleasant change after being looked down at for his first few days, but Itachi did indeed notice the fear and hatred that arose behind their friendly façades. He couldn't stop it from happening. Every time he was appealed to fight in the arena and returned, drenched in the blood of his former fellow- sufferers and showing nothing but empty eyes and an emotionless expression, their anxiety would grow.

And out of fear, resentment is born. Burning just beneath the calm surface it stirs up and the flames of hatred are being fanned.  
After a while Itachi was ordered to move into his very own tent. He wasn't sure whether it was to prevent something bad from happening, or if it was meant to widen the gap that had torn open between him and the other prisoners. He didn't really care anyway. He spent his time losing himself in thoughts and memories. He began to hate himself even more than he did before. Having time to think about what he'd done, how much he had hurt his brother, made Itachi look at himself with revulsion. Of course he knew what he had done from the start. Also, he knew what he would do before he even translated it into action.  
Telling himself that he had had no choice, Itachi tried to banish those dark thoughts. Despite being strong on the outside as well as on the inside, he couldn't stop himself from falling into emptiness. He had long since given up hope, knowing that there was no other way to escape this place than to ascend the stairs leading up to heaven or whatever was to come after death. All that kept him alive were memories of happier days. Back then, when he was still young and innocent.

Itachi's lips curled up into a smirk in view of this thought.

He had never truly been innocent. Aside from being a prodigy with exceptional talent, Itachi Uchiha hadn't been perfect at all.

Ever since the day his little brother was born, Sasuke had been all Itachi really cared about. Upon holding the boy in his arms for the first time, Itachi had fallen in love with him. What was just brotherly love and affection in the beginning grew into something more intense- something forbidden. Itachi himself had been way too young to feel such a strong affection towards anyone, but Sasuke had still been small child. Knowing fully well that what he desired was wrong, Itachi had to restrain himself from touching and holding his baby brother the way he wanted to. He regarded himself as sick, twisted, insane- nevertheless he loved and desired Sasuke with all his heart.

Growing up, Sasuke seemed to become more beautiful with every day passing. Itachi didn't understand why people always compared the boy to him, for to the older of the Uchiha brothers Sasuke seemed to be way too perfect and lovable to be put on a par with him.  
Itachi felt his heart clench at the thought of the time when he and Sasuke had shared their first kiss. Knowing that the boy possibly felt the same way about him, that he didn't regard Itachi as sick- it had meant everything to the older Uchiha.

But he had finally come to see that a love such as theirs wasn't possible, no matter how hard they would try. Thus, Itachi had tried to act like he normally did. He had put on the same emotionless mask he wore in front of other people. He had tried to reject Sasuke when asked for a second kiss. He had tried to distance himself from his precious little brother when he found out about Konoha's plans.

It had worked for a while. It hurt Itachi to see his brother's sad and disappointed eyes staring at him whenever he walked by without acknowledging Sasuke's presence, and he had needed all of his willpower to keep himself from pulling his Outoto close and tell him how much he loved him. He had managed to stay strong- with one exception. A single incident had cast a slur on his image of the perfect older brother…

…

Orochimaru had dismissed Sasuke and told him to go to his tent in order to get some rest and get well again, for he certainly would have to fight sometime soon. He actually felt tired, so he had lain down on his sleeping mattress. He couldn't sleep though, so Sasuke decided on just closing his eyes and lose himself in thoughts. At some point he still must have fallen asleep, or perhaps it was another memory overcoming him like a vision- because Sasuke suddenly found himself sitting on a couch in the middle of the night, his mother smiling at him before ascending the stairs up to his parent's bedroom.

...

_It was already late, but Itachi still hadn't returned from his mission. Despite the soft words from my mother telling me not to worry and go to bed, I had refused to do so.  
_

_I wanted to see my aniki, and I wondered why he wasn't back yet- normally, Itachi finished his missions early. I feared that something terrible might have happened to him, something fatal- and it made me feel sick and worried. I sat down on the sofa, watching my mother leave. I felt tired and wanted to go to sleep, but my worry for Itachi prevented me from going upstairs and cuddle up into my bed sheets. I shifted on the comfortable sofa, feeling a bit lonely and anxious. It was dark- my parents had turned off the lights- and a deathly silence had settled. I almost screamed when the door suddenly swung open, Itachi becoming apparent in its frame.  
Itachi stumbled into our living room, carelessly throwing his katana aside. I stared at him in disbelief. He did neither look nor act like the brother I knew. His ANBU uniform was blood stained, his usual ponytail was messy, and he wore an angry expression, something that was rare for the always so collected Uchiha.  
_

_"You're back" I exclaimed softly. Itachi looked at me. Something in his eyes changed and I heard him sigh before he sat down onto the couch opposite to the one where I was seated.  
_

_"What's wrong, Sasuke?" he asked quietly, probably not wanting to wake our parents.  
_

_I considered pretending not to know what he was talking about, but I was too worried.  
_

_"You look… different" I murmured, looking down to avoid eye contact.  
_

_A short, hard laughter resounded, leaving me to wonder what exactly was wrong with Itachi.  
_

_"I'm drenched in blood, Sasuke", he responded, sounding annoyed. I shifted uncomfortably. _

_"But… you act different as well, aniki…"  
_

_He sighed again. "The mission was exhausting."  
_

_I looked up and met his gaze. I didn't believe him. I knew my brother better than most people did- and even if most of the time I couldn't see through him at all- I felt that something was weighing on his mind.  
_

_"Aniki, I-  
_

_"Come on Sasuke. Come over here."  
_

_I examined him carefully. He looked upset, at the same time sad and dejected. I was scared. I had never seen Itachi like that before. He stared into empty space, his fingertips tapping on the sofa's armrest.  
_

_I shifted on the sofa opposite him; making his attention snap back to me.  
_

_"What are you looking at?", he snapped. I flinched. Itachi had never gotten angry in front of me before. I suddenly felt like running up the stairs and hiding in my room.  
_

_"Nii-san… What happened on the mission?" I asked carefully.  
_

_"What does it look like?" Itachi pointed at the crimson stains covering his clothes. I bit my lip, thinking about what I should do. Itachi wasn't himself. And I was scared.  
Just as I was about to rise from the sofa - he reached out a slender finger, and beckoned me to him. Upon seeing Itachi's gesture, I slowly rose to my bare feet and silently walked over to him. He smiled and patted his legs with one hand, gesturing me to sit. I obliged, not wanting to fuel his anger. I straddled onto his lap without question, feeling relief upon seeing that my brother relaxed a little. I jumped as Itachi suddenly grabbed my wrist and then, after placing my left hand onto the armrest, intertwined his fingers with mine. His other hand snaked around my back, holding me steady. His fingers cascaded up and down my spine, making me shiver a little. My heart thudded in my chest. What was he doing? Hadn't Itachi said brothers weren't meant to touch each other in ways like these? And yet, he leaned in closer, looking deep into my eyes as he did so.  
_

_What I saw in them scared me- it was desperation. Anger, a sad hollowness, and desperation. He slid his hand down my spine before letting it slip underneath my shirt and stroking my bare skin. A weak smile made its way onto his delicate lips and he leaned in further, then placed a soft kiss on my forehead. I suppressed the urge to shift and get closer to him. I was still scared. Itachi was acting different, there was something in his eyes, that sad smile, in his voice- that made me want to escape his hold. But I couldn't.  
_

_Itachi moved back a little, but he was still just a few inches away from my face.  
_

_"Aniki, what are you-  
_

_I was silenced by his lips crashing onto mine. His fingers clutched at my back and he pulled me closer. I felt trapped, the /impression of being pressed against my brothers chest made me feel slightly claustrophobic- but at the same time, I didn't want those soft, warm lips to leave mine. The way they felt against my own was maddening. Even if I was young, I knew how sinister this was. But strangely, the thought of this caused something inside me to twitch. A moan escaped my lips and I started to kiss back, parting my lips slightly- and it wasn't long before I felt my brother's tongue against my own. I twined my free hand around Itachi's neck and shifted in a desperate attempt to get even closer. Itachi's left hand trailed down my back once again and he began stroking my thighs. Another quiet moan, and I felt Itachi smile into the kiss.  
_

_We continued kissing for while, some kisses deep and passionate, the way Itachi ravished my mouth almost desperately, some tender, lips barely touching.  
Suddenly, my brother pushed himself away from me. He was panting heavily, and so was I, but I managed to speak between my breaths.  
_

_"What's wrong, aniki?"  
_

_He smiled bitterly. "_This_ is wrong" he murmured, once again leaning forward and resting his head against my delicate shoulders for just a few seconds. He then pulled back and looked deep into my eyes. I lost myself in the sight of the beautiful dark orbs, seeming so endlessly deep and mysterious, and admired the long dark lashes that framed his eyes.  
_

_"You need to sleep, Sasuke", he said softly. I nodded and got up, albeit reluctantly. I didn't want to let my brother go; I wanted to feel his warmth, his touch, his affection.  
_

_"Aniki… will you come and sleep in my bed?", I asked.  
_

_His smile faded. "No, Sasuke. I'm sorry."  
_

_I swallowed and tried not to show my disappointment and hurt._

_"Goodnight, aniki", I whispered. Itachi nodded, suddenly looking tired.  
_

_"Outoto" he murmured, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back.  
_

...

Itachi stood near the crowd of men that had gathered in front of the dark wall, but he kept to himself. He spotted Deidara standing next to Sasori. The blond looked fairly confused- he should have been in the arena by now. Itachi's gaze went on to Sasori. The red head turned, and dark eyes met muddy brown ones. A look of distrust made itself visible on the doll- like features, and Sasori examined the raven haired man for while before turning back to Deidara.

Itachi turned to look at the high wall in front of him.

He and the red head were on what one could call 'good terms'. They did not exactly like each other, but they got along. Itachi trusted Sasori more than he trusted other people, and he knew that it was the same on the puppeteer's side.

"Due to unexpected happenings today's duelers have been replaced. The fighters who will now be announced are to start directly after this announcement."

So Sasuke didn't have to fight. Itachi felt relief overcome him. And Sasori would be glad that his little blond didn't have to fight, too, he thought with a thin smile on his lips.

But the smile faded when he heard the next words.

"The new duelers are… Sasori-" – somewhere near Deidara screamed in protest and anger- "-and Raven."

...

This is the longest chapter so far. Yay. Idk, but I like it somehow. Let me know what you think!

I'm VERY happy to tell you guys that I have an amazing beta-reader now- **Greening,** thanks again!

Alright, that's it. I'll update as soon as possible.


	12. Chapter 11 - brother

**Chapter 11 - Brother**

* * *

Itachi quietly walked down the sandy path, Sasori just a few steps ahead of him. The Uchiha examined his friend's back, thinking about what was bound to happen soon. For a short moment the puppeteer turned his head, his muddy brown eyes meeting Itachi's somewhat dull, dark ones. A sad expression made its way onto the young man's features, merging with his usually calm appearance. Then he once again turned away and fixed his eyes on the wall to their side.

It was only a few hundred meters until they would reach the arena's entrance, but to Itachi, the all too familiar path felt horribly long today. His mind was reeling, he could not quite grasp and comprehend the situation yet, nor was he sure how to feel about it- first of all, he was relieved that his little brother didn't have to fight- which would have been his sure death, regarding his current state- but on the other hand, Itachi felt a dull sadness overcome him as he thought about the upcoming fight.

He hadn't even contemplated that the choice of him and Sasori as the substitution of Sasuke and Deidara was coincidence. Now that he thought about it, it might as well have been intended from the start. The raven haired man clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, as a special exception showing some emotion.

Just a few weeks ago, he would have considered giving up on his own life in order to let Sasori, whom he had grown to accept and even like, survive. Itachi knew about the red head's closeness to Deidara, and he would gladly have accepted death, knowing that he could do something for them, as well as leave his own lonely, hopeless life behind. A thin smile made its way onto the Uchiha's lips. He would have welcomed death with open arms.

But someone had changed it.

Upon seeing his brother again, even if the boy had no clue who 'Raven' really was, Itachi had regained hope and his will to live.

He had never stopped loving Sasuke, and he knew he never would. After all these years he had just given up. There had always been one reason for him to live**: **his younger after ten years of separation, ten years of loneliness and self- hatred, ten years of doubting his sanity- Itachi had finally given up on his dream. His dream of seeing Sasuke again.

He had paid Konoha a visit, two years after the massacre. Back then, the village hadn't been destroyed by the war yet. Itachi, neither having much time nor wanting to be recognized, had come there at night, and headed directly to the Uchiha complex. For some reason he could not quite understand, he went to his family's house, only to find Sasuke sleeping there, in the room that had once been Itachi's. The older of the two Uchihas had been tempted to just lay down next to his beloved brother and hold him close, whisper sweet nothings into his ear, let him know that Itachi was still there, that he cared for and loved Sasuke.

He still remembered how he had just been standing there, watching his little brother sleep and wishing for nothing more than to be able to stay by his side. The older Uchiha knew that Sasuke needed him, more than ever- but he could not give in to his desires. Nevertheless, he decided to risk talking to his little brother, disguised as a member of the ANBU squad.

That's why the next day Itachi knocked on the wooden door, anxiously waiting for Sasuke to open it. The little boy flung the door open only seconds later, sending the appearing ANBU a glare that held a mixture of surprise and aversion.

"What is it?", he asked, eying Itachi mistrustfully.

"I'm here to ask you some questions."

He's changed, Itachi thought. He felt a wave of sadness overcome him. Sasuke was an entirely different person, he could tell from only looking at him. His eyes were empty, emotionless. He had something surrounding him that radiated hatred and reserve, his features showing distrust and hardness, at the same time it seemed like a mask the boy had put on in order to not get hurt again.

Itachi felt as though he was looking into a mirror.

"Go ahead." Sasuke made no move to invite the ANBU into the house, so Itachi remained standing in the doorframe.

"I don't have much time, so let's get straight to the point", the older of the two Uchihas said. Sasuke nodded in approval.

"It's about the… massacre two years ago.", Itachi began, observing Sasuke carefully. The boy's expression, if possible, hardened even more.

"Back then you said that you saw the murderer, but you refused to tell the members of ANBU-and even the Hokage."

Sasuke flinched. Itachi watched curiously as the young Uchiha clenched his fists, pressing his fingers into his palms. "I don't intend to change that."

The ANBU tilted his head to the side. "And why is that?"

The boy before him bit his lip and briefly closed his eyes before responding. "If I told you the truth, it wouldn't help in the least."

Itachi was thankful for the mask that was covering his face, otherwise Sasuke might have become suspicious. He knew that his facial expression was threatening to slip from his control, and he was sure that the boy would have noticed.

He coughed, trying to think of something to say. "I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean."

Sasuke seemed to think about something before he answered hesitantly. "I'll show you. Ask me something about my childhood."

This time, the older Uchiha nearly choked. Out of all things Sasuke could have said- why this? He shifted his weight from one foot onto the other, readjusting his mask as he did so. "Why would you-

Sasuke interrupted the ANBU by sending him a death glare. "Just do it."

Itachi feverishly tried to think of something to ask, something that wouldn't give away who he was, or what he was truly interested in- all the while he felt Sasuke's searching look on him.

"When you were younger… how was your relation with your parents?"

Despite his now dead parents being mentioned, the boy's face remained without any display of emotion; he almost looked bored.

"I don't remember."

Itachi looked up at him jerkily, his eyes widened in disbelief. "How can you not-

"Just go on. Ask something else."

Itachi struggled to keep his composure, but he managed to stay collected and calm. "What was your favorite food?"

Sasuke raised a single eyebrow. "I don't remember."

Itachi swallowed. "You had… an older brother, back then. What was he like?"

Sasuke took in a deep breath and trained his eyes on the floor. When he looked up again, something in them had changed. He had been unfazed by the previous questions, although the massacre had only been two years ago- but now, he looked sad. Hurt. Lost.

It took Itachi all the self-restraint he had not to take his baby brother into his arms. The younger Uchiha pierced the ANBU before him with a weak glare.

"I don't remember."

…

* * *

The portal opened soundlessly. Itachi strode through the short, tunnel-like underpass that led into the arena, eyes fixed on Sasori and Deidara who were walking just a few steps ahead of him. He was, however, stopped by a man who looked like a guard. The stranger grabbed Itachi's arm and raised it, then placed the hilt of a sword in the older Uchiha's hand. Itachi looked at the man in unsuppressed surprise, but the stranger just bent his head for a few seconds before releasing the raven's arm and whispering "You will need it" before vanishing into smoke.

For a few seconds Itachi just and stared into empty space, then he pulled himself together and proceeded to follow the puppeteer and the blond bomber.

He gasped as he entered the arena. The forest that had been growing rampant only a week ago had disappeared. What was left was dark rock stratum, a stony, gray plateau with nothing giving a chance to hide except for a few rocks which seemed like they had been randomly spread out. The sky above was cloudy, its color almost matching the ground. Itachi watched as Deidara and Sasori stopped. The blond looked at his partner with something that Itachi could only describe as longing. The puppeteer's lips contorted into a sad smile and he took a hesitant step forward. Deidara's fringe was covering one of his eyes, but Itachi thought to have seen a single tear roll down his cheek before the blond flung his arms around the red head and pulled him close.

Sasori didn't react. He just stood there, letting Deidara embrace him and wet his clothes with tears. Finally he let go of his partner, but the two remained close to each other, blue eyes looking into muddy brown ones. Sasori slowly raised a hand and gently cupped the other male's cheek. "You'll be fine", he said quietly, barely more than a whisper- but Itachi heard it.

Deidara shook his head. "Not without you", he replied, his voice sounding like he was on the verge of tears again.

For a brief moment, Sasori's gaze flashed to Itachi.

He looked doubting as he spoke his next words, but he sounded determined nevertheless.

"I'm going to survive. I'll return to your side, Deidara." He smiled once again, running a thumb across the blonde's lips. "I promise."

This is a promise to kill me, Itachi thought. He tightened his hold of the sword, preparing for a serious fight. He knew about Sasori's puppets. Even though the red head normally didn't use them- probably in order to avoid sensation- Itachi had seen them once. Back then, the puppeteer had fought a young woman named Sakura, one of the very few women that had ever been brought to the arena. She had proven to be a strong opponent, but in the end, Sasori had defeated her, using his favorite puppet- the third Kazekage.

The raven haired man's thoughts were interrupted by a voice resounding, its source being one of the hidden speakers.

"This is the first duel taking place in the arena. The two participants are Akasuna no Sasori-" Itachi threw a look at Sasori and saw that Deidara had left- "-and… Raven." A short pause. "The rules are simple; all kinds of jutsu and weapons are allowed. The fight will only be announced as finished when one of the two duelers is dead."

Somewhere behind them the portal closed, causing a strange echo to ring throughout the entire stony battlefield. Once it had faded away, a heavy silence settled. Itachi and Sasori both turned, facing each other.

"Begin." The single word broke the silence and the tension that had built up. For a few seconds they just stood- then both ninja jumped towards each other, Itachi wielding the sword and Sasori pulling out various kunai and shuriken. He threw them at Itachi as quick as a flash, but the raven haired man deflected them withhis sword. They both landed safely on their feet and fixed their eyes on each other, scrutinizing with appraising looks.

"That's how far our friendship goes, Raven." Sasori almost spat the last word, his words dripping with contempt. A sad smile graced Itachi's lips as he nodded. Then, he once again raised his sword and directed it towards Sasori.

"One on one, then?", he asked quietly. For others it might have seemed like an unnecessary remark- but regarding that Itachi was fighting Sasori, a puppeteer, it pointed to something else. And Sasori understood. "As long as I'm willing." With a snarl, he pulled out some more kunai, then started running at Itachi. While running, the puppeteer threw all the weapons at his opponent, but Itachi effortlessly dodged them. Sasori stopped right in front of him, Itachi aimed a kick at his stomach- but the red head dove to the left, successfully dodging the attack. He managed to pull out a senbon, jumping back to escape another kick and the flashing blade that struck down at him.

Sasori threw one of his senbon, but the Uchiha simply took a quick step to the side. The puppeteer seemed to have expected that- he leapt at Itachi and tackled him back onto the rock, his fist aiming for the younger male's face. Itachi rolled with the punch and kicked Sasori in the chest hard, sending him flying over his head onto the rock behind him. Sasori gasped at the pain as he hit the stone flat on his back. He didn't have anytime to dwell on this, though, because Itachi came right back at him, his right hand with the sword slicing at his throat. Sasori caught the blow and twisted the Uchiha's wrist, only for a left-hand slice to hit him in the stomach. He roared with the pain, and his fist caught Itachi under the chin with a powerful snap. For a second the puppeteer seemed to think his opponent had gone down, but then Itachi looked back up at him with his ever so emotionless expression, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth.

They both rushed at each other at the same time and met in the center, this time with weapons out. The blade of Itachi's sword deflected dozens of deadly pricks from Sasori's senbon, before diving in for the kill.

In this one regard, Sasori was at a disadvantage because senbon were worthless for deflecting attacks. He blocked with his left arm instead- a noise of splintering wood resounded, and the puppeteer's limb fell onto the gray rock. Itachi quickly jumped back, eyeing his opponent with something that could be called curiosity. "You're...?"

Sasori extended his hand, spread his fingers, and let blue chakra-strings attach themselves to his cut off left arm. Instead of answering Itachi's question, he let a short, sharp blade come out of the wooden limb- then fired it at his opponent. Itachi hastily raised his sword to block the attack. Metal met metal, the weapons clashed. Blue strings of chakra whirled through the air, controlling the blade and letting it attack again and again. Itachi blocked and dodged effortlessly, even when the red head began to throw dozens of senbon at him he still managed not to get hurt.

But he also recognized that he was getting nowhere.

Crimson swirled in dark orbs, letting them appear dangerous and threatening. One of the deep red pools closed, its power being sealed for the moment. Itachi dodged another attack, jumped back to not get hit by a poisoned senbon. For a brief moment, his right eye closed- then it opened wide, accompanied by a quiet whisper.

"Amaterasu!"

Black flames flared up, setting the detached limb and the blade on fire, burning them to ashes in a matter of seconds. The flames went out as soon as their target was burnt. Itachi stood, panting slightly, once again looking at Sasori. The puppet had stopped throwing senbon- perhaps he had already used them up?

He had, just as himself, come here unprepared, Itachi thought. This put the Uchiha at a huge advantage. Itachi knew that the red head used scrolls to summon his puppets- which made his jutsu, if he didn't carry said scrolls with him- impossible to perform.

Itachi's strongest weapon was his eyes. However, considering that Sasori himself was a puppet as well, genjutsu would have no effect on him… Itachi bit his lip in thought. So Tsukiyomi was useless… That reduced his opportunities to fire-style jutsu, Amaterasu- and Susano'o. He preferred to avoid using the latter technique- so he would have to do it with only fire.

Black and red flames.

He watched motionlessly as Sasori took out a single scroll.

"This is all I have", the puppeteer said quietly. He looked up, his gaze meeting Itachi's. "But it's enough to defeat you." Itachi watched him perform a few hand signs before placing his hand on the scroll. A puppet appeared, clad in a dark gray cloak with collar made of fur.

"This is Suna's third Kage. Maybe you've heard of him…"

Itachi clenched his fists. The legendary sandaime Kazekage. The man controlling the sands. Black, metallic sands. Blue chakra strings controlled the puppet's movements, and a strange body appeared, built with sand. It wavered and changed its form, until it was blade-like. Itachi swallowed. His thoughts were racing. His sword was useless against the iron sand just as a fireball jutsu. He wasn't sure if Amaterasu would work- but even if it did, burning the sand would only be a waste of chakra. He had to aim at either the puppet- or Sasori himself.

…

* * *

Sasuke awoke to the sound of voices on the outside of the tent. He carefully sat up and listened.

"Who do you think will win?" A deep voice, undoubtedly belonging to a man.

"The little monster. He's got some creepy aura surrounding him, even if he looks pretty."

"Do you even know how old he is?"

"No idea, but he doesn't look older than eighteen… or nineteen, maybe…"

Sasuke looked down at his injuries. The bandages he had wrapped around his torso were discolored crimson, but the blood had dried already. He sighed, then once again concentrated on the two men talking somewhere near.

"He doesn't act like it, though. He seems like he has more life experience, you know? As though he has witnessed way too much for a nineteen year old-

Footsteps resounded, and the two stopped talking for a few moments, then Sasuke heard a new, unfamiliar voice.

"Taking about the duel?"

The young Uchiha sat up and took notice. Who had been ordered to fight instead of him and Deidara?

"Sure. Who do you think will win?"

Laughter. "Three loafs of bread for the quiet loner."

All of them chuckled. "Are you sure? Nobody's ever really seen him fight."

"That's because nobody survives fighting against him, idiot", the one who had asked the first question retorted.

"Yeah yeah, but maybe he's got some dirty little trick? The fucking rat just survives, that doesn't mean he knows how to fight properly."

Sasuke closed his eyes and let his head fall back. Who the hell were they talking about?

"Do you think it's coincidence that they chose those two of all people?"

Silence. The other two seemed to think about the question. "Hm. Rumor has it that the arrogant little red head and that blond brat have something going on…"

'Arrogant red head' and 'blond brat'? Were they possibly talking about Sasori and Deidara? Sasuke smirked. He had though about that, too. The bomber and Sasori just had a little too much chemistry. Even if they were always fighting, Sasuke had caught them suspicious-looking close on a few occasions.

"And the other one? As far as I'm concerned, he has nothing to do with that Sasuke-kid."

Sasuke snorted contemptuously. He got up and smoothed out his clothes, then ran a hand through his rebellious hair. Maybe he should just go and ask them who was fighting in the arena right now…

…

* * *

Itachi fell onto his knees, panting heavily. He felt blood running from his eyes down his cheeks, then dropping from his chin onto his clothes and the stone underneath him.

He watched Sasori fall down as well, just a few steps away from him. The puppeteer had lost both his arms, his left leg was half-burnt, and a few cuts defacing his normally flawless face. Somewhere behind him lay the remains of the third Kazekage, the puppet having been burned by Itachi's fire style jutsu.

The Uchiha coughed, spitting blood onto the gray subsoil. He felt Sasori's gaze resting on him and looked up.

"I promised Deidara to return", the red head said, breaking the silence. Itachi reached out for his sword and clasped its hilt. Then he got back onto his feet and started to walk towards Sasori. He staggered, nevertheless he didn't stop.

"You have nothing to live for", the puppeteer murmured.

The sword's blade blinked as Itachi raised it. "Wrong", he replied coldly.

A malicious smirk made its way onto Sasori's lips. "So you hope for your precious little brother to forgive you? Once he finds out the truth he is going to kill you… Raven."

Itachi didn't respond. He reached down and roughly pulled Sasori to his feet, closing a hand around his throat.

A blade from behind Sasori's back shot towards him, but he blocked it without even looking. Itachi's right hand found the puppeteer's heart container, and he extended his fingers to touch it. Sasori closed his eyes. "You can either have your life, or your little brother. You-

Itachi slapped him across the face. "Shut up", he hissed. The top of his sword slowly sunk into Sasori's chest. A pained gasp, widened eyes- but Itachi stopped his movement, once again staring into the red head's brown orbs.

"I wish I didn't have to do this." He spoke the truth, but his voice didn't hold any emotion.

A short, hard laughter escaped his opponent's lips. "I could have killed you, Raven. With all my puppets, with my army… I could have killed you-" The blade twisted, causing Sasori to hiss in pain. Itachi felt him weaken and tightened his grip on the puppet's throat, wanting him to stand.

"Make it quick." It was a plea. Barely more than a whisper, desperation, fear and pain sounding through.

"I will."

Muddy brown eyes closed, blades hissed as they were once again folded behind Sasori's back.

"Burn me."

Itachi looked up, but the red head's eyes remained shut.

"After you've stabbed my heart… burn me." His voice was already fading. But Itachi heard his words, and he nodded, knowing that Sasori would notice his response.

He took in a deep breath- then abruptly moved his right hand forward. Something splattered, blood began to stream from the wound**. **Itachi removed his hand from Sasori's throat.

For a horribly long moment, the red head stood in front of him. His eyes opened once again, their muddy brown looking dull.

"Tell… Deidara… Itach-

He was silenced by mechanically spoken words, a few hand signs being performed quickly.

"Fire style; fireball jutsu!"

And the lifeless body of the human puppet was set ablaze by flaming red fire.

…

* * *

Sasuke had, after thinking about what he could do, decided to go to the training grounds. Maybe, despite his current state, he would be able to throw some shuriken, practice with a katana- if he found one. Therefore, he was now walking down the path that led to the wall fencing off the arena, and the training grounds.

Sasuke spotted a blond man standing approximately hundred meters away. He stopped and took a closer look. From where he was standing, it seemed like the man was waiting in front if the arena's entrance…

The young Uchiha started moving again, changing his direction and walking towards him.

"Deidara?"

The blond turned around, facing Sasuke. He looked lost; almost sad, and Sasuke wondered what had happened. He remembered what the three men had said earlier- maybe it was really Sasori who had been announced as his substitute?

"Sasuke… They just announced that the fight is over, un. I-"

He was interrupted by the sound of the portal opening. It was a sound Sasuke would recognize anywhere. After having spent more than two weeks here, most of his time practicing on the training grounds, he had heard it almost every day.

They both turned, waiting for someone to arrive.

Nobody came.

After a while, Sasuke once again spoke to Deidara. "Deidara, who has been-

He fell silent. A figure stumbled out of the underpass. Their clothes were torn, blood was dripping from several wounds, and a deep gash ran down their left arm.

Sasuke tensed, he tried to find words, wanted to look at Deidara- but all he could do was whisper a name.

The word was drowned by Deidara. "No," the blond said, sounding powerless and broken. "No…", he repeated.

Sasuke watched as Raven limped down the sandy path, leaving a crimson trail of blood. For a few seconds Sasuke just stood as though he was frozen to the spot- then he began to walk towards the injured man.

Raven lifted his head, his empty eyes met Sasuke. The young Uchiha suppressed the urge to start running, he just proceeded to walk into Raven's direction, eyes never leaving the raven haired man.

He didn't say a single word, even as his arms twined around Raven.

"Sasuke."

A name, not more. The way it was spoken reminded Sasuke of older times. He let go of Raven stayed close, examining his face. Those deep, onyx colored eyes, the black strands of hair escaping the pony tail- the two lines running down from his eyes-

His gaze met Raven's, and he found some emotion he couldn't name nor understand in them. Sasuke hesitated. A weak, thin smile swept across the older male's lips, but he didn't say anything.

Raven… are you my-"

Sasuke suddenly fell silent as Raven stumbled back before slumping to the ground and remained lying down, eyes closed.

The young Uchiha hastily knelt down beside him and tried to lift Raven up and carry him back to his tent, despite his own injuries causing pain to flash through his entire body. He kept trying, lifted him a few centimeters, only to scream and let Raven fall back down. Sasuke clutched at his side, hissing through gritted teeth. He stopped trying to scoop Raven up for a moment and just looked down at him. A shaky hand touched the unconscious male's cheek, Sasuke let his fingers trace the two delicate lines that looked like they had been drawn.

"..._brother_.", he breathed, ending his sentence.

* * *

Okay. It's been three weeks. All I can do is apologize for the late update. I was busy (and a lazy ass on top xD), so...

Thanks for the reviews, and a special thanks to **love everlasting**- your review inspired me to start working on this again!

I hope you liked the chapter. I think you're all gonna like the next one, hehehe...

Oh well.

Merry christmas! This year, all I want is reviews. xD


	13. Chapter 12 - Rain

_Did I say I would update faster this time? Did I say you would like this chapter?_

_I lied xD_

* * *

_Chapter 12 – Rain_

Sasuke couldn't do anything but stare at the man lying on the ground next to him, having lost his ability to react, move- do anything. He was awoken by a loud scream- its source being Deidara.

"I'm going to kill you! I swear, I will kill you, Raven!"

Sasuke jumped, his head shot up and his gaze met the blond. The bomber was standing on the sandy path, hands shivering, but he held some clay. It was obvious that he was about to attack, or at least he intended to. The young Uchiha tried to find words that would reach Deidara, who seemed to hesitate a little, his gaze darting between Raven and Sasuke, who was standing before his brother, looking somewhat protective.

Disunity was showing itself in Deidara's expression, and Sasuke intended to make use of that.

"Look, Deidara. He had no choice. I know that Raven and Sasori got along quite well. I believe that they'd rather not have fought each other. In the end, everybody care's about himself the most. I'm sure that Raven made it... as painless and quick as possible."

He watched as Deidara's expression changed, misery prevailing now.

"That doesn't change the fact that Raven killed him, un." He clenched his fists, causing some clay ooze out and fall to the sandy ground.

"Tell me", Sasuke began, "what do they do when someone kills a prisoner outside of the arena?"

"They torture them", was the immediate answer. Sasuke nodded slowly.

"One day you and Raven will be announced. You'll go into the arena, both of you. You can... fight him then. Wait with your revenge."

Sasuke secretly knew that the blond could never defeat Raven -Itachi,he corrected himself, and that was probably why he told the him to wait until the time was right. He observed Deidara, saw that the bomber bit his lip in thought, and then nodded. "You're right, un. And until that day, I'm going to train hard. I'm going to take revenge in the most agonizing way possible!"

Sasuke swallowed. He feared for Itachi's safety, even though he didn't doubt superiority. But for now, what he'd said had to be sufficient. He thought of something else to say, because, in all honesty, he felt bad for Deidara. He had an idea of how close the blond and Sasori had been, and in how much pain Deidara had to be now. He watched as his opposite carelessly let go of the clay in his hands, then dropped onto his knees. Sasuke wasn't sure what to say, he'd never been good with people and emotions, so he just walked over to Deidara and patted him on the shoulder sympathetically. "Im sorry, Deidara."

The blond didn't answer, but Sasuke was fine with it. For now, he had to deal with Itachi, who was still unconscious. He would have to get him back to his tent somehow, but due to his wounds, Sasuke wouldn't be able to do it alone. "Deidara? Can you... get help?" He didn't trust the bomber enough to leave him alone with Itachi. He was surprised when Deidara nodded and left. Only a few minutes later two men came, without the blond though.

"Did Deidara send you?", Sasuke asked curtly.

"Told us to help you bring Raven back to his tent. But he looked quite worn out", one said.

"What happened?", the other asked, taking turns at talking.

"As you can see," Sasuke said, pointing at Raven, "Sasori lost the duel."

"Oh", they said in unison. "Must be hard for blondie. Doesn't he want to avenge his little puppet-boy?"

"And why doyoucare about Raven anyway? Everybody else would've let him lie here."

Sasuke shrugged. "None of your concern. Just help me take Raven back to the tent"

…

* * *

Sasuke quietly watched the young man lying on the thin sleeping mattress. Itachi had been unconscious for more than two hours now, and Sasuke himself felt tired and worn out- but he couldn't bring himself to rest. He felt the need to watch over his… brother.

It still felt weird to even think it. Probably, Sasuke thought, he still couldn't quite understand it, nor had he digested that after all this time he had finally found his older brother. He had remembered, all of a sudden, not everything, but most of his past. He remembered every tiny little detail about his beloved brother as he sat beside him and watched his face, the dark colored eyes closed, long black lashes throwing shadows on his cheeks in the dim light, and lips slightly parted.

Sasuke felt a sudden, desperate urge to feel skin contact. He shifted his weight and slowly crawled closer towards Itachi, then paused and rested on his knees. He extended a hand, noticing that his fingers were trembling a little, and touched his brother's cheek after hesitating for a few seconds. Sasuke smiled as he felt the warmth of Itachi's skin underneath his fingertips, and he began to caress his brother's face with slow movements. He knew that normally, Itachi would have woken up- but he remained lying there motionless, his breathing regular. Sasuke removed his hand and bent forward, bringing his face close to Itachi's. He felt his brother's warm breath on his lips, and remained in his position for a while, enjoying the strange sensation the closeness caused him to feel(It's sound more fluid without to feel). After some time had passed, the young Uchiha swiftly moved forward and placed a tender kiss on Itachi's forehead, all the while with a gentle smile on his lips.

His smile widened when he remembered how his brother had used to do this when they were younger. For a short while he allowed himself to get lost in thoughts and old memories, just to be sure that he had really regained them- then his attention snapped back to Itachi.

Sasuke had treated his brother's wounds with band aid and medicine he had found hidden under Sasori's blankets. The red head's death saddened him, but his brother's survival and the retrieval of his memory surpassed the importance of the loss.

The young Uchiha had bandaged Itachi's arms and removed the blood stained shirt, then covered him with all the blankets he'd had in tent 3, for the nights were slowly becoming colder.

He felt tiredness overcome him and wanted to rest his head on Itachi's chest, but stopped in mid-movement. His brother's bare chest had looked bruised, and he didn't want to hurt him- so Sasuke was content with resting his head in Itachi's lap for now.

…

* * *

He woke up in the middle of the night. Itachi's calm and regular breath told Sasuke that his brother was still sleeping, but nevertheless he sat up and eyed Itachi curiously, taking in every little detail of his face.

Sasuke again wanted to touch the pale skin and extended a hand- that was when crimson eyes shot open and pierced him with a glare. However, they softened after only a few seconds, upon seeing who the one so close was.

Sasuke was frozen to the spot. Itachi didn't know that he had finally recognized him, he didn't know how much Sasuke was aching to hold him, or be held, to touch, caress, kiss… and so much more.

He just watched the young male with a soft expression, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Thank you", he said quietly. Sasuke shivered upon hearing his brothers velvety voice, and he could no longer hold back.

"Ten years…", he whispered, his eyes never leaving Itachi's. "Ten years." he repeated.

Itachi's eyes widened. He opened his mouth as though he wanted to say something, took a deep breath, then closed it again. After a while he took Sasuke's hand into his own.

"So you remember."

The younger Uchiha nodded.

"Everything?"

"No. Not yet."

Itachi closed his eyes for a few seconds, and suddenly looked exhausted and tired again.

"Not yet...", he repeated.

Sasuke wanted to say something, something to break the silence and the tension between them, but he couldn't think of anything appropriate. What was he supposed to say, after being with his brother for the first time in ten years? There was so much he wanted Itachi to know, but he didn't find the words he needed.

"I'm sorry", he finally whispered. Itachi's grip on his hand tightened, and a strangely sad expression made its way onto his features.

"There's no need for you to be sorry, little brother", he replied softly. Sasuke felt tears welling up in his eyes, and scolded himself for always appearing weak in Itachi's presence- he had saved him more than once, and Sasuke hadn't even recognized his own brother- but the younger Uchiha couldn't prevent them from falling down when he heard the next words.

"All the time… I've been breaking inside, a little more with each day that passed- each day spent without you-wastedwithout you." Itachi looked at him, his expression serious.

Where have you been,Sasuke wanted to ask, but he found that he couldn't form any words. He just kept staring at his brother, his vision blurred by small tears. He felt two things; the desperate urge to get closer to Itachi, to tell him that his feelings hadn't changed at all during these ten years- and secondly, he felt hatred.

Not towards his brother, but towards himself.

Sasuk hated himself for having been so blind; for not recognizing the one he loved- for not evenrememberingsaid love. He hated himself for being weak, showing this weakness in front of Itachi; and most of all, for not being able to do anything once he had finally found him again.

Itachi watched him closely, all the while holding Sasuke's hand.

"I missed you, Sasuke", he said simply. Sasuke wanted to answer, to say something-anything,tell Itachi that he had missed him, too, that his life had felt empty and incomplete without his older brother by his side- but he didn't want to lie.

"I forgot about you", he said, his voice sounding strangely emotionless, despite the tears slowly rolling down his cheeks.

"I know", was Itachi's answer. "But it doesn't matter. You remembered, that's all that counts."

"But you were right here, in front of me. And yet I didn't recognize you for such a long time."

Itachi nodded quietly, and after a moment of hesitation, he pulled the boy towards him, and Sasuke fell against his chest in an embrace. He gently ran his fingers through the younger male's hair, relishing its sheen and softness. Sasuke didn't move, he just let it happen.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's complicated, Sasuke." Itachi traced his brother's jaw line with his index finger, still looking him in the eye.

The younger of the two kept quiet for a while. Finally, he spoke again.

"I started to dream of my past, only a few days before I came to the arena. I dreamt ofyou,no one else. And I regained my memory... memories of all the things we did."

Itachi's finger stopped moving.

"We can talk later. Just... not now. If you want me to, I can tell you everyting tomorrow. Just not now", he murmured.

"But it's important, I-

"Sasuke. Please."

He could only mumble a soft 'okay', he was distracted by Itachi's tender touch anyway. Sasuke felt his brother's breath against his neck, causing him to tremble. "Itachi...", he whispered, wanting to say more- but the sound of his brother's name was still somewhat strange to him after all the time that had passed, so it made him stop mid-sentence. Instead of finishing what he wanted to say he shifted to get closer to Itachi's warmth, pressing his face into the crook of his neck and letting the tears flow. The older Uchiha placed a hand on his back and began to move it up and down soothingly. "It's alright, we're-

"I loved you. How could I forget about my own feelings? You never even once forgot about me, not back then nor during the time we were separated."

"You didn't have a choice. They decided to make you forget about your past. And maybe it was for the best."

Sasuke looked up at, meeting Itachi's gaze. "They?" He was shocked, to say the least. Up until now, Sasuke had always been suspecting that he had lost his memories after some sort of trauma caused by the massacre- but now Itachi told him that someone had actually been willing all this? All the pain and doubts he had gone through, all the self-reproach - it wasn't his fault but someone else's, someone who had willingly made him suffer?

"Konoha." Itachi stated, interrupting Sasuke's thoughts. For a moment, a heavy silence hung in the air. They just looked at each other, Itachi with worry and, undeniably, affection, while Sasuke's eyes were suddenly darkened with rage and some other emotion, one that Itachi deemed to be hatred.

"Why would they do such a thing? How is that even possible?" Although he tried to sound collected, his anger was clearly audible. Itachi sighed heavily and took Sasuke's hands into his, eyes never leaving his little brother's.

"It was for your best, believe me. I guess it is some kind of jutsu, however, it doesn't seem to be able to erase all your memories, since you could recall that you have an older brother... and you never forgot about the massacre."

"That doesn't explain why they did it. Itachi, you better-

He was silenced by a finger pressing against his lips. "Didn't I say I would tell you tomorrow, if you wanted me to? For now, I just want to enjoy having you by my side again."

Sasuke followed Itachi's movements as he lifted his hand to his mouth and softly kissed the warm skin. "My feelings for you haven't changed."

His heart started to beat faster, as though it wanted to leap out of his chest. All of a sudden everything felt more intense; Itachi's long black hair tickling the skin of his arm, his lips against his fingers, the hand holding his own. He focused on nothing but his brother, examined the face he hadn't been able to recall for so long, and noticed all those little things that made Itachi, to him, the most beautiful being he'd ever seen. Sasuke was well aware of the fact that Itachi wasn't perfect, not at all, but somehow he felt like he was still the closest thing to perfection that he, Sasuke himself, would ever get to see.

The sheets covering Itachi's chest rustled, slid down, and revealed his bandaged torso. Sasuke didn't have any time to take a closer look though- because the next thing he knew was that there were only mere centimeters separating them, and he could feel the other's breath on his lips.

"Sasuke", Itachi murmured. Sasuke'sgaze darted upwards and stuck on onyx colored eyes that returned the look with such intensity; the younger Uchiha felt his breath hitch and then, as he finally managed to breathe out, tremble slightly.

"Neither have mine." He was barely even able to finish his sentence, because Itachi's sealed his lips with his own, strong arms holding him in a safe embrace. The kiss didn't last long, only for a few seconds- but it held so much more than words could possibly express. They were still looking at each other, and it seemed like Itachi was waiting for Sasuke to do something- there was a hint of fear in his eyes- as though he was afraid of being rejected. The younger Uchiha smiled, just for a split second. Then he returned the kiss, more passionately this time, and twined his hand around his brother's neck. It was like his whole world had lit up; his entire body was alive, and aching to be with Itachi. His lips burned, and Sasuke's hands were almost shaking as he ran them through Itachi's loose, raven hair. His brother's hands were pressed against his back, applying pressure, urging him closer. And Sasuke obliged, pressing himself closer against Itachi, wanting to become part of him, to be as close as he could.

They continued kissing for a while, losing themselves in their passion, their desire-but there was a feeling of sadness that never left, subtle, nevertheless existant. It cast it's shadow over the two brothers, leaving both of them to wonder if they could ever be happy- truly happy, carefree and independent.

And so, Sasuke spoke what was weighing on his mind, breaking from a deep, loving kiss, but not letting go of Itachi's hair that he clutched to with his right hand. He stayed close, examining his brother, taking in his every feature, admiring his beauty once again.

"Why are you here, Itachi?", he asked quietly. He sounded concerned, but Sasuke only noticed it after having spoken the words.

"Tomorrow...", Itachi replied shortly, before pulling his little brother into yet another kiss. His hands slid down Sasuke's spine and under his shirt. The younger of the two let go of Itachi's hair and carefully lifted his arms, helping his brother take his clothes off. Once he had pulled it over Sasuke's head, he carelessly threw it into a corner and crashed their lips together in an almost desperate, hungry kiss again. The younger male kissed back with equal passion, but only soon after Itachi left his brother's lips and started to plant light kisses on his jaw and down his neck. He bit down, drawing a moan from Sasuke.

He kissed him then, on the thin blanket covering the ground, hovering above his younger brother's body. The kiss was deep and it was tender, and Sasuke found that it was everything he had ever wished for. He moaned lightly as a warm tongue stroked the inside of his cheek; the gentleness of such an action making him limbs ache for something…something else.

Breathing harshly, Sasuke pulled away from the kiss, turning his head to the side to avoid being caught up in those wonderful lips again. His chest rose and fell rapidly, but he still managed to breathe out his brother's name. "Itachi... please," he murmured.

Itachi carefully used a shaking hand to move Sasuke's slender legs apart. He took in Sasuke's expression; lust-ridden, needy, wanting. He shifted uncomfortably as his groin seemed to tighten, and he knew that Sasuke would be the exact same way. He procceeded to take of his brother's pants and throw them away, then did the same with his underwear- leaving Sasuke naked. Itachi began stroking him carefully and lowered his lips to a nipple. Sasuke felt a wave of pleasure run through him as Itachi began touching him, pleasing him more. He placed his palms flat on Itachi's back, pulling him closer and wanting him more than before. Itachi positioned himself so that his erection was right above Sasuke's and began stroking both of them together. Itachi groaned, feeling the amount of pleasure that ran through his body as his erection rubbed against Sasuke's. The younger of the two moaned and turned his head to the side exposing his neck. Itachi lowered his lips to the pale flesh and began nipping at the skin that his lips touched. Sasuke moaned a little bit louder and turned to look at Itachi while panting, "Ita-Itachi… I might…" cut off by Itachi's lips on his he moaned into them. His brother let go of their erections and pulled away from Sasuke's lips and replaced his lips with three fingers. The young male understood without Itachi needing to say anything, and he wrapped his tongue around the fingers and began sucking. He looked at Itachi and decided to tease him. He dragged his hand to Itachi's member and began stroking it.

Itachi began panting; he gripped the thin bed sheet with his other hand and groaned.

Had there been any inner conflict before; by now it was gone. He had simply pushed his doubts aside, in the heat of the moment.

He let out a soft moan and looked at Sasuke while pulling out his fingers from his mouth. "You need to relax," Itachi whispered, his mouth close to his little brother's ear, making Sasuke shudder.

Itachi placed one coated finger down at Sasuke's entrance and slid it in. Sasuke let out a loud gasp, slightly clawing at Itachi's back due to the new sensation and the slight pain. His older brother kissed Sasuke's damp forehead and muttered a few soothing words into his hair. Soon he relaxed and Itachi slowly slid in another one. Sasuke felt tears begin to form behind his eyelids, it hurt but he had to bear it.

Itachi couldn't stand it, his erection was throbbing painfully. He spread his fingers apart inside Sasuke and soon drew in a third finger. Sasuke cried out to the ceiling above them. He had felt a great amount of pleasure surge through his body making his erection twitch. Itachi hit the spot again, eliciting another moan from Sasuke. "Aniki…," he said in a questioning manner as he felt the fingers slide out. Itachi placed himself before Sasuke's entrance and grabbed his brother's hands wrapping them around his neck; then kissed him deeply, all his emotions pouring into the kiss. Their tongues began fighting for dominance making Sasuke groan. Itachi slowly pushed himself inside Sasuke and pulled away, facing his little brother and trying to take in every little detail; the way Sasuke's black bangs were sticking to his sweaty forehead, the flush on his cheeks, his eyes still closed and lips slightly parted.

Itachi let him time to adjust, by no means wanting to hurt his brother.

After some time had passed, Sasuke moved his hips forward, showing Itachi that he was ready. "Move," he breathed out.

Itachi withdrew from Sasuke and slowly went back in. The young Uchiha gripped the other's raven hair, closing his eyes he let his head fall back.. Sasuke felt his body completely adjusting to Itachi and began moving on his own. The pain eased down, the tears were no longer in his eyes and he felt his mind become clouded with nothing but pleasure. He pulled Itachi down to him, pressing their moist lips together enjoying the way both their bodies tangled with one another. Itachi spread Sasuke's legs farther apart and slowly began increasing his pace.

All his doubts were gone. Sasuke had finally figured out his feelings for his brother, feelings that were the fire inside of him.

Later he would think, and tell Itachi, that during those ten years of separation, his brother had always been the fire inside of him that kept him warm, made him feel alive, even though he hadn't remembered his love at that time.

Now he did, and he felt it with all the more passion.

Sasuke let his head fall back again and lost himself in the rhythm of Itachi's movements. With every thrust and every moan he made, he felt himself coming to understand the one person that always hid from him. He gave out a cry in pleasure as he felt Itachi thrust into him with such gentle but ravishing force. He wrapped his legs around his brother's slim waist and cried out again feeling the great amount of pleasure surge throughout his body as his older brother thrust into him. Sasuke ran his fingers through Itachi's hair, loving the way it felt and tangled with his fingers. The raven gave out a soft groan as he hit Sasuke's prostate again. Sasuke slightly arched his back and unconsciously dug his nails into Itachi's scalp. The other let out a hiss as he felt the pain that soon subsided as pleasure. He kept thrusting in out of Sasuke, feeling himself very close to his climax.

Itachi lowered his lips onto Sasuke's and dragged a hand over his leaking member. Not being able to hold back, Sasuke felt the muscles in his throat contract and release a throaty moan as lips kept him from crying out. He bucked his hips according to Itachi's rhythm, feeling himslef getting closer to his climax.

Itachi wanted to hold the thin boy in his arms. If he left him, he would suffer. He had left Sasuke alone for so long- he never wanted to let go again. His actions would never be voiced for the fear of the truth, but right now, he thought it was fine this way.

Itachi felt Sasuke's irregular breathing against his ear as he continued thrusting into him. "Aniki...…I-…nnng" Itachi had shut him up with his lips again and felt the erection in his hand twitch. He pulled away and tried so very hard to look into those dark orbs as he kept thrusting into Sasuke.

"Don't hold back." He managed to say in between groans. Sasuke nodded and felt Itachi's hand snake into his open hand that lay by his head. The fingers closed around him and Sasuke cried out one last time, feeling Itachi hit his prostate again was all it took for him to reach his limit. Itachi felt his brother close around him and he groaned as he thrust into him twice before spilling his seed inside Sasuke. He heard the dark haired boy underneath him moan softly as he came inside of him.

Making sure he didn't hurt the other, Itachi fell on top of Sasuke trying to regulate his breathing and the other doing the same. Slowly but carefully, he pulled out of Sasuke, hearing a soft whimper escape the others parted lips. Itachi rest his ear against Sasuke's chest, listening to the sound of his heart beating loudly.

A soft smile ghosted across his lips and he pulled his brother into a gentle, loving kiss.

Sasuke ran his fingers over Itachi's back and smiled as they broke their kiss.

"Aniki...," he said quietly. "I love you."

"I love you too, Outoto," Itachi responded, placing a chaste kiss on his brother's forehead before he rolled onto his back, only to turn towards Sasuke once he had lain down. He just stared at his little brother's face, completely losing himself in the sight, then he reached out a hand and began to gently stroke Sasuke's cheek.

"I never knew... Back then, when we were younger, I didn't think your feelings would last. Neither did you know that mine were true, so genuinely true that it hurt me in a way no one could ever understand. I hated myself from the moment I realized that I love you more than a brother should. I tried to keep a safe distance between us, to avoid you- but you... you would have none of that." He smiled as he rememered their childhood, and how Sasuke used to cling to him. Then he got serious again and continued, while tracing Sasuke's lips with his thumb. "I didn't want to hurt you. But I never knew... you felt the same way.", he said quietly, barely more than a whisper. Sasuke's hand found Itachi's and he placed his fingers over it, then brought their hands between their bodies. He smiled briefly before he leant forward and captured Itachi's lips in a soft kiss. It only lasted for a few seconds, then Sasuke drew back.

"How could I ever feel anything less?", he murmured against the warm skin, then planted a soft kiss on Itachi's cheek. His older brother smiled at the affectionare gesture and pulled him closer, sneaking his arms around Sasuke after he had pulled the covers up around their naked bodies. Sasuke's back pushed lightly into Itachi's chest, and he buried his face into the raven spikes, breathing in deeply.

It wasn't long before they both fell asleep- Itachi with a content smile in his lips, but Sasuke with a somewhat pained expression- as though he was having a bad dream...

...

* * *

_It was already late in the evening, the sun had long since disappeared behind the tops of trees and roofs, but despite dusk overcoming the village of Konoha, I had continued my training. I forced myself to give my best all the time, for I wanted to reach up to my older brother one day._

_Now I was walking down the streets of the Uchiha' compound, my pouch filled with shuriken and kunai loosely hanging at my side, whipping back and forth with every step I took. I was tired and exhausted, my arms and legs felt sore- all that was the aftereffect of training hard all day. I would've preferred training with Itachi- in my opinion, he was a far better teacher than father could ever be- but my big brother had to study, and thus didn't have time for me. Recently, the time we spent together, no one butus,had gotten shorter and shorter, until we simply didn't see each other anymore. I sometimes passed Itachi in the house or on my way to the ninja academy, but all I would get from him was a brief look. Not even a smile..._

_I suddenly stopped, my pouch sliding from my shoulder to the ground._

_The streets were all empty. Normally, that wouldn't have made me suspicious. Now, I saw that not only the streets were empty, but also the houses were completely dark. It almost seemed as though the Uchiha complex had turned into a lifeless, deserted area, without the usual noise of playing children's laughter, their parents' talking, and the constant sound of footsteps on the cobblestones. Everything was deadly silent, no villagers were to be seen. A sudden feeling of uneasiness overcame me as I turned to look if there was any sign of life that I had missed, but there was nothing more than a few curtains fluttering in a cold breeze. I shivered, not sure if it was because of the wind or something else I couldn't pinpoint. Acting on a sudden impulse, I started running, down the street and around a corner. My thoughts were racing as I sprinted down the road, alternately throwing troubled looks to my left and my right side. What had happened? Why was everyone out? Or maybe... they weren't? I ran around another corner, directed my gaze to what was lying in front of me- and stopped abruptly, gasping in horror. Just a few steps away from me lay three bodies, their faces down, shuriken sticking out of their backs. A puddle of crimson collected next to them, slowly seeping from their wounds. I choked and covered my mouth with a hand. I didn't recognize them since I couldn't see their faces, but the image of the three dead bodies lying on the ground was terrible enough. I slowly backed away, then began to run again. The closer I got to my destination, the more corpses paved the way. Lanterns and stall covers were slashed, violently ripped in two. Shuriken and kunai were embedded in every hard surface; walls, rocks, and barrels. Sweat was running down my forehead and I felt horribly sick. A loud splashing noise resounded as I stumbled through another puddle of blood, the crimson liquid squirting onto my clothes and my face. I didn't even wipe it away, I barely noticed it. Only a few hundred meters were separating me from our house now._

_All I could think of was my parents- and Itachi._

_'He's still alive, he's still alive, he's still alive', I repeated in my thoughts, wanting nothing more than for it to be true._

_"Father! Mother! Itachi?!" I shrieked, a desperate undertone audible in my voice. If I hadn't screamed but tried to talk quietly, it definitely would have quavered._

_I ran up the stairs of our porch, to the door, flung it open and passed through the short corridor that led to our living room. No sign of life; neither to be heard nor to be seen. I started panicking, what if my parents and my brother had been amongst the bodies out there? What if, in my haste and shocked state, I simply hadn't seen them? What if Itachi had been lying there, face down, blood streaming from a deadly wound?_

_I snapped out of my thoughts upon hearing the sound of something falling to the floor. It sounded all too much like a body slumping against the tatami mats. I was horrified, scared- but I followed the sound nevertheless. My hands were sweaty, and I wished I hadn't dropped the pouch with my weapons back on the street, but it was no use now. I came to a halt in front of the door that led to our parent's bedroom. Were they in there? I hesitated, tried to gather all my courage. My hands simultaneously wrapped around the brass handle to the room, and gulping, I pulled the door open._

_Two lifeless bodies lay in the centre of the room. Corpses. The corpses of my parents. They were drenched in sticky blood, it pooled around them, its color getting a strange discoloration due to the silver moonlight falling in through the window. And as I saw my parent's, dead, I could only think of one thing._

_Where was Itachi?_

_Maybe he had managed to escape the clan's killer. My brother was an able ninja after all, maybe... on the other hand, many people who had been killed today were very skilled shinobi when they were still alive. I felt an overwhelming feeling of grief overcome me at the thought of Itachi having been murdered. A single tear ran down my cheek as I stood in the room, completely motionless. I wouldn't be able to cope with my brother's death, I realized. The thought itself already hurt me much worse than any physical pain ever could- but if Itachi were to die, I would most likely die too- not physically, but emotionally- until I'd find the courage to take my own life. I flinched as I heard something crack._

_The rear part of the room was dark, but as I let my eyes wander I saw someone's feet, part of their legs; someone was standing next to my dead parents. I drew in a sharp breath, my instincts were telling me to run- but I was frozen on the spot. The person took a step, half of them becoming visible in the moonlight. I knew that I should be running by now, but... where was the point in escaping, when everyone who was dear to me had been murdered?_

_Another step, closer towards me. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, hearing the sound of yet another step. I opened them again- and I saw Itachi._

_I couldn't describe the relief I felt, just for the blink of an eye. Then it was gone._

_"Itachi", I whispered, "who did this?"_

_He didn't answer, just kept staring at me with dull, emotionless eyes._

_"Who would do such a horrible thing?!", I asked, my voice rising into a scream. "Who-"_

_He lifted his arm, something he was holding in his hand blinked in a ray of light falling in, and suddenly I felt a sharp, stinging pain curse through my arm. I perceived a shuriken from the corner of my eye before it bore into the wall behind me. My eyes widened in disbelief, and it was only then that I noticed that Itachi was drenched in blood. It was far too much blood to be only his own; it covered him from head to toe, dry, ruby streaks tainting his pale face._

_"Foolish little brother", said Itachi, piercing me with his Sharingan. I could only stare at him helplessly._

_"Don't tell me... Itachi, you..."_

_His eyes darted to the floor, to the two corpses._

_"No. You didn't do this... You would never do something like this", I whispered. I didn't receive any response. Exactly that was what let me know that I was right. Itachi looked up again, this time there was something else in his expression. Maybe it was sadness, hurt, regret?_

_My heart was being ripped apart. I was way too young to feel anything as strong as the love I had for my brother, but that was only how itshouldbe. The truth was; I was obsessed with Itachi. I loved everything about him. I trusted him, wanted him to stay by my side forever._

_I had._

_I watched, unable to move, as Itachi soundlessly extended his hand towards me. He looked as though he was reaching out for me, and I began to panick again- that was until I saw the look on his face. Desperation and and hurt were etched into his features. His lips were moving, forming a name._

_"Sasuke", he whispered._

_He had hurt me so badly. He had lied to me. Tricked me._

_I loved the murderer of my own family._

_Tears continued to roll down my cheeks, wetting my skin._

_"I hate you, Itachi!" I screamed and flung at him, aiming a fist at his face. He dodged my attack effortlessly. It angered me and I threw another punch, but once again Itachi just stepped to the side. He turned his head to look at me, and I saw something swirling in his eyes. His Sharingan twisted and spun into a form I had never seen before. I stared at him- and before I could react, the ruby pools widened for a split second, focusing on me. "Tsukiyomi!"_

_I screamed. In a world of black, white, and crimson, I witnessed the murder of my . I saw it all; the scared faces of his victims, how he slaughtered one after the other with an unchanging expression, not hesitating even once. I saw how he faced people we had known for our entire life, people we had grown up with- I saw them die by his hands. I heard the sound of kunai and shuriken piercing flesh and of a tantou stabbing chests, lungs, hearts. I heard pained, terrified screams and pleads; they mixed with my own voice, begging him to stop. And finally, there were our parents, standing before Itachi, facing him. My mother's head was bent down, as though she didn't want to see that it was her own son doing this. Father didn't fight back, he just waited. A silver blade was raised, then struck down. Blood splashed onto the walls, Itachi's face... And my parents fell to the ground; dead._

_..._

* * *

Sasuke screamed at the top of his lungs. His shout broke the silence that had settled after dusk, a silence that consisted in raindrops drumming on the tent's tarpaulin and Itachi's calm, regular breath, nothing more.

Sasuke's eyes were wide open, a thin layer of sweat covered his forehead, and he was panting heavily. He had a terrible headache, a dull pain was pulsing in his temples.

Sasuke heard something shift beside him.

"Had a nightmare?"

Itachi. His voice was smooth, and it sounded...caring.

For a moment Sasuke just lay under his blankets, then he turned his head and stared at Itachi. He regarded him, a kind smile gracing his lips.

"Are you okay?", he asked, but he didn't receive an answer.

Sasuke stared at the man who was his brother, his lover -and the murderer of his entire family. He faintly recalled what they had done, just a few hours ago, and he suddenly felt sick.

"That wasn't a dream", he whispered, finally answering Itachi's question.

His brother looked at him worriedly. "Sasuke...", he began, reaching for him, extending a hand to touch the younger male's face. "What's-

"Don't touch me!" Sasuke almost screamed, and he flinched back, activating his sharingan.

Itachi let his hand sink down, looking uncertain.

"What's wrong?" He asked carefully.

Pretending to be all innocent, Sasuke thought. He wanted to yell at Itachi, punch him, make him bleed and beg for forgiveness and mercy- but all that Sasuke was able to say was, "You're a liar. You never loved me."

Itachi stared at him. "Why would you... I love you, Sasuke, I always have, and I-

He was interrupted again. "How dare you say such things with a serious face?" The younger Uchiha clenched his fists. Itachi looked confused, but he didn't say anything.

"Murderer", Sasuke said quietly. The word cut the silence like a sharp sword cut skin. Sasuke almost thought he'd heard a sickening sound, the sound of blood splashing. It reminded him of what he'd seen and heard in Itachi's genjutsu. In his dream. Only that it hadn't been a dream. It was reality.

Itachi's eyes widened. Sasuke took notice of how vulnerable he looked, with his sharingan deactivated and a disbelieving look in his dark eyes.

"Sasuke, calm down. I can explain what happened... that night." His voice cracked, and he sounded hoarse.

"There's no need to explain!" Sasuke yelled. He had jumped onto his feet, and automatically reached for a weapon- but he had none. He thought about strangling Itachi with his bare hands here and now, or to choke him with a blanket, but even in his blind fury mixed with disillusionment and hurt, he knew that he wouldn't be able to kill Itachi just like that. It would take him a lot more, but he was willing to do it. Whatever it might cost-

"I'm going to kill you."

Sasuke threw a last heated, hateful glare at the man, then he left.

It was raining outside. Sasuke stumbled along the path without really paying attention where he was going. He stopped before the dark rocks that were enclosing his prison and just stared at them while the rain was pouring down on him, soaking his clothes.

Finally, he took a few steps and let himself slide down the smooth and now slick wall. Sasuke leant his head back and stared up into the sky.

In only one day he had gotten what he had desired for so long now- only to lose everything again, just a few hours later. He felt torn, partly because he knew that he could never hate Itachi with all his heart.

Sasuke's warm tears mixed with the cool rain. He closed his eyes and bit his lip. After this, he wouldn't cry anymore. This was the last time he'd shed a tear.

What he didn't know was that only a few hundred meters away, Itachi was silently watching him from the entrance of his tent. Blood was seeping through his bandages, his wound having been ripped open by the movement.

He didn't feel the pain, nevertheless tears shimmered on his face.

...

* * *

Hn... that was long.

I feel so bad.

SO. BAD.

Tell me what you think, I really but a lot effort in this! (see, it's LOOOOOONG) this was actually my first lemon, but psssshht.

Thanks for reading. I really hope to update faster this time!

**If you review, that is.**


	14. Chapter 13 - Nothing Left

AN: I'm sorry. Unfortunately I didn't have a computer for a long time, and after that my (fantastic) beta-reader left and thus didn't have time to read my chapter. I can only apologize and try to update faster this time, which is very likely to happen since it's spring break.

* * *

Chapter 13 - Nothing left

It was early in the morning when Sasuke awoke. The sun had yet to rise and probably it wouldn't be visible anyway, for the heavy clouds were covering they gray sky completely. It was still raining and the drops of water hitting Sasuke's skin felt like ice cold needles, causing him to shiver. Nevertheless, he felt strangely numb. It was as though his head was completely empty, his thoughts silent. Instead, there was a dull throbbing in his temples.

He was in the same position as yesterday, when he'd fallen unconscious- that's what Sasuke assumed had happened- with his back leant against the cold stone, arms hanging at his sides limply. The young Uchiha was completely soaked, to the point where the cold hurt and let his skin burn, but he didn't pay any attention to that.

For a while Sasuke just sat there motionlessly, not attempting to get up, probably not even able to. He gazed into the space, not really aware of what he was looking at- the scenery before him looked somewhat blurred, nothing but different shades of black and gray. He blinked, once, twice- but it didn't change. It was only then that Sasuke realized there were tears in his eyes. He wanted to raise a hand, wipe them away, but found that he couldn't.

After quite a while, he finally gathered some strength and got onto his feet, using his hands and the rock behind him as a support. Once Sasuke stood, he didn't move for another minute. Just standing without staggering or falling seemed to be a challenge. He waited until his breath was even, then set into motion.

It felt like eternity to him, but Sasuke knew that it only could've been a few minutes until he reached his tent. He raised a hand to push the tarpaulin covering the entrance to the side, stumbled out of the rain into the warmth, and fell to the ground as soon as he was inside.

A tense silence settled before some curious whispers became audible. Sasuke couldn't care less. He just kept lying there, face to the ground, not finding any will to stand up. Nobody made a move to help him- not that he would have accepted any help.

After a few minutes, he got onto his feet, wavering a little, and dragged himself towards his sleepingmattress. Once he'd reached it he slumped down, ignoring the pain that seared through his still not fully healed sides. Closing his eyes, he tried to blend out the excited whispers around him. That was probably why he didn't hear one of his comrades approach.

"Where the hell have you been?" Sasuke flinched a little, but although he wasn't completely by his senses, he recognized the voice as Deidara's. He struggled to find his voice and form words, but managed to bring out a hoarse 'outside'.

"And what were you doing there?"

"Thinking." Sasuke's tone lacked the usual arrogance; he found himself unable to talk louder or with more emphasis.

It was silent for a while, then Deidara spoke up again, hesitantly this time. "What... about Raven?" he asked, lowering his voice a little.

Sasuke clenched his fist, but the blond didn't notice. "Nothing."

Deidara suddenly grabbed his wrist and came closer, close enough that Sasuke could feel the other's breath against his neck. "Tell me why you care about him."

The young Uchiha didn't bother to move or look at Deidara, and he didn't answer straight away.

Only a few hours ago that would have been relatively easy to answer. Now...

"I don't want to talk about him."

The grip around his wrist tightened. "Once again. Why do you care about him?"

"I don't," Sasuke retorted, losing his patience. He might be in a bad condition, but he would not allow anyone to treat him like that.

"Don't lie to me, Sasuke," the blond hissed. Sasuke forced himself to sit up and pulled his hand out of the other's strong grip. "Listen, Deidara. This is none of your concern. You want to see Raven dead, and so do many other people in this prison." He spoke louder than before, using the strength he had left to make sure he looked and sounded intimidating enough for everyone to look at him and listen. "I'll say it once, for all of you. No one will lay a finger on him."

He let his eyes wander, glaring at the men around him, suppressing the urge to activate his sharingan.

"And who are you to tell us this?" One of them asked, smirking at Sasuke in a condescending manner. The young Uchiha ignored him and continued talking.

"The one who will kill him is me, and me alone." He paused a second time, allowing his words to sink in. "I have my reasons. I will not hesitate," he sent Deidara a glare, "to kill anyone who questions my decision."

It was oppressively silent. For some reason, the boy who never really stood out much, who would look almost vulnerable if it wasn't for his serious expression and the dark eyes that seemed to be hiding a quiet danger in their depths- was respected by everyone who had just heard him. There was something in his voice, a determination that erased every doubt – and hatred, a menace so deep and unmistakable that no one dared laugh at him or talk back.

Not a single one of the men in the tent said anything, not even Deidara, so Sasuke just lay back down. What he'd just said was true. Itachi's life was his to take, he was the one who would bring justice. That man deserved nothing but death. Not only had he killed his entire family- he had been lying to Sasuke all the time, too. The young Uchiha felt betrayed, foolish, and, most of all, alone. Itachi had been all he had left, now that the truth had been revealed, now that he'd finally remembered everything, he had no one. Yet, for some reason, he didn't mind. The more he thought about it the more Sasuke came to realize that the only thing he cared about was his revenge. And revenge he would get, that was for sure.

Sasuke decided that although he felt tired and worn out, he didn't want to rest too long. So after he'd closed his eyes for a few minutes, he got up and wordlessly left the tent. The rain hadn't ceased to fall, if anything it had become heavier- thus, he was alone outside. Probably, Sasuke thought, all the others were either inside their tents or in the small cave where the food stuff was being served. He slowly walked down the path, his destination being the training grounds. Sasuke was sure that they, too, were empty at this time, and he was intended to use this opportunity to practice ninjutsu. Up until now he had managed to keep his abilities hidden, and he wanted it to stay that way. None of the men who had ever seen him use his chakra in the arena were still alive, therefore nobody could know. Deidara and Sasori were an exception, but the puppeteer was dead and the blond was smart enough to keep quiet about it.

Before, Sasuke had been hesitant, although he wanted to train properly he hadn't gotten any opportunity yet- which was why now, may he be injured and a little weak, he had to train.

He looked down at his feet; his sandals were dirty brown instead of their original color, for the usually so dusty path was completely muddy thanks to the heavy rainfall. Sasuke's light steps didn't make any sound, though.

As expected, he didn't meet anyone on his way. He had to walk past Itachi's tent, and Sasuke couldn't help but peer into it- his brother wasn't there. It was probably better that way, he thought, otherwise Sasuke might not have been able to control himself. Thinking of the raven, he felt something inside him stir. Last night he had been too shocked, too hurt to react, he had felt helplessly numb- but now that his senses were returning, a burning hatred was starting to build. And with every minute that passed, it grew.

Sasuke clenched his fists and dug his fingernails into his palm until he felt the skin break. A small trail of blood ran down his fingers and fell down onto the ground. It remained visible for a few seconds, then the rain and the small streams of water running down the path washed it away.

Sasuke's prediction had been right. The training grounds were completely empty. He let his gaze wander, taking in his surroundings. A few posts, serving as a replacement of living targets in the arena, and a few targets meant for the practice with shuriken or kunai. Since Sasuke had neither of them, he focused on the posts once he was in the middle of the area. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, concentrated his chakra and made a few quick hand signs. Tamed lightning crackled in his hands before it took the form of a thin blade, the cold, sparkling blue contrasting the monotonous colors of the rocks and the wet ground. Sasuke leaped at one of the posts, raising his hand and the blade, then cut it in half before his feet touched the ground again. The upper part of the post fell into the mud, but he didn't pay attention to that; Sasuke whirled around, jumped once again, and threw the sword at the next post, successfully cutting it from top to bottom. He ran, only a few meters, catching it just in time. More hand signs, and the flickering energy changed its form, now nothing more than a mere ball of lightning in Sasuke's hand. The young Uchiha stood motionlessly for a short moment, then jumped into the air, eyes closed. At the highest point, crimson eyes shot open, taking in the situation in a matter of seconds. A flash of cold, blue light- and the remaining posts were struck by the tamed energy, charring down despite the rain that was still falling.

Sasuke landed smoothly, deactivated his sharingan- that was when he felt a presence behind him. He turned around, his left hand raised and prepared to attack once more- but he met the gaze of a single blue eye.

"Impressive, un."

Sasuke took a deep breath. "You followed me." He wondered how the bomber had managed to do that without Sasuke noticing him, but after all, he was a ninja as well.

"I was curious."

"You mistrust me."

Silence, then a smirk began to form on Deidara's lips.

"Got me. I don't trust you at all, Sasuke, and seeing you like this confirms my suspicions. You pretend to be weak, average- while in truth, you are an excellent ninja… Just like Raven did when he first arrived here."

"I'm not like him," Sasuke retorted sharper than he'd intended. Deidara raised a thin eyebrow. "I never said you were." He glanced around, as though he feared someone might hear him. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you. About Raven."

Sasuke's expression hardened. "Why?"

"You might want to know a few things about him, if you're really planning to fight him, un."

Sasuke laughed a short, humorless laugh. "I doubt that anyone in here knows more about him than I do," he said, wanting to leave, but the blond grabbed his shoulder, holding him back.

"Listen," he hissed, suddenly very close to Sasuke. "Everyone in here mistrusts you. The little show you put on before in the tent didn't make that any better; in fact, it just caused the men to be a little more wary when it comes to you."

Sasuke slowly turned, facing Deidara. "And what does that have to do with Raven?"

"It is because of Raven that they don't trust you," the blond explained. "You both saved each other, more than just once. Raven normally doesn't care about anyone, he would gladly sacrifice the lives of all the men in here in order to survive. It's not a surprise that they wonder why he, when it comes to you, suddenly cares. And not only that, you, who you seem to be quite a loner yourself, you bothered to save him as well. You even treated his wounds after that last fight." He paused for a moment, looking into Sasuke's eyes intently, as though he was hoping to find an answer in them. But the dark orbs were cold and inscrutable as always, and Sasuke didn't make any move to respond either, so Deidara continued. "They see Raven as their enemy. That is only natural, he seems to be by far the strongest in here. Nobody has ever actually seen him fight- and that's probably what makes them fear him so much. He has the reputation of an ice cold killer, someone who does not hesitate to kill anyone who comes near him once he's in the arena- may it be necessary or not. But you, Sasuke, are an exception. That makes you their enemy."

Sasuke was quite unimpressed. He had figured that much. Not saying anything, he waited for Deidara to continue.

"Only yesterday you did everything for him to survive. And this morning, you suddenly come back and tell us that you want to kill Raven, and you are the only one allowed to lay a finger on him. Some of the men suspect that this is yet another lie of you in order to protect him- but I doubt that." His blue eye pierced Sasuke, but the young Uchiha didn't let anything show. "And?" he asked, sounding bored.

"You sounded serious. There was something in your voice that made clear that you hate Raven, with all your heart… Now I wonder, why that change of mind?"

Sasuke stared at the other for a long moment before shaking Deidara's hand off his shoulder. He turned his back towards the blonde and started to slowly walk away. Deidara followed him, waiting for a reply.

"Tch." For some reason, Sasuke had been hoping to hear more, something interesting maybe, or rather something that could help him. "Is that all?" He turned once more, giving the blond a bored look.

To his surprise, Deidara shook his head. "No. As I said, I want to talk about Raven, not pose questions."

Sasuke smirked. "Well, all you did was question me."

"I want you to tell me the truth. Then I'll tell you what I know."

Sasuke thought about that. He didn't quite understand why Deidara wanted to know about him- perhaps he was hoping to find out that he was precious to Itachi; he could find a way to blackmail his brother in that case. Sasuke clenched his fists. Too bad that apparently, he didn't mean anything to him.

He forced himself not to think of that more than necessary, and focused on what he'd been wondering about before. Not finding an answer, he asked Deidara after a moment of silence. "Why?"

The blond seemed to contemplate for a few seconds. "I want to see him dead, after all. I figured that since you want to be the one to kill him, I might as well help you."

Sasuke's first impulse was to decline the offer, but he thought about it and decided to listen to what Deidara had to say. As for his part of their deal- he wouldn't tell him the truth. He wasn't sure why, maybe it was because Sasuke wasn't a talkative person anyways, maybe because he didn't want to seem vulnerable and weak- probably also because what they had done was considered abnormal- but deep inside he knew it was because he couldn't talk about it without letting his hurt and frustration show.

"Fine. But let's go somewhere else, I don't want anyone to see us here," he finally answered. Deidara nodded in agreement. "The tent should be empty by now. Everyone's eating in the cave."

Sasuke didn't respond, he just turned around and started walking, back to their tent. Although only a short time had passed, the path had become even muddier than it had been on his way to the training grounds. He didn't pay attention to that though, because he was occupied with making up a believable story he could tell Deidara.

They walked back in silence, a strange tension hanging between them. Once they had entered the tent, Deidara sat down, followed by Sasuke. The blond didn't say anything, therefore Sasuke just began to talk.

"The truth is, that the first time I saved Raven," he began, not wasting any time, "it was merely an accident. I didn't think about it afterwards, and I doubt he did. But he saved me when I was in danger- to repay his debts." Sasuke paused, thinking about what to say next. "I don't know much about Raven, but I have learned that he is selfish. While at first I thought he saved me because he actually felt sympathy, I now understand that he did it because he would have felt guilty otherwise," he continued, trying to maintain his facade. "He is cold and emotionless, someone who doesn't care for others in the least. I made the mistake to trust him, but now I know what kind of person he truly is." Deidara looked as though he was deep in thought, then he nodded slowly. "That might be true, since it's my impression of him as well. But Sasori has told me something says otherwise. Not too long ago, he told me that Raven is not who he pretends to be." He stopped, once again glancing around quickly. Sasuke's expression didn't change, although he could feel anger boil up inside him.

"According to Sasori, in the arena he's going under a different name in order to avoid difficulties."

Sasuke quirked a single eyebrow. "And what is his name if it isn't Raven?" he asked, pretending not to know anything.

"Itachi."

"So?" Sasuke was getting impatient. Of course he was surprised that Sasori had known, and he wondered whether Itachi had actually told him or if the redhead (you spell that together) had found out by himself- but it was too late to ask him anyway, so Sasuke cast those thoughts aside.

"You have probably heard of the Uchiha clan before..."

The raven haired boy looked up, trying to hide his surprise. "I have," he said slowly.

"Well. Then you've probably heard that the entire clan has been murdered. Rumor has it that there are two survivors: A young boy- and Itachi."

"What are you trying to say?" Sasuke was annoyed, for he didn't know what Deidara's point was. He suddenly felt the other grip his chin and turn his head to the left and to the right, and Deidara leaned in closer, wanting to scrutinize Sasuke's features.

"The similarity between you and Raven- Itachi- is conspicuous. I don't think that you two just got along from the start, he isn't like that, and neither are you. You both wouldn't let people be close to you so easily. You wouldn't be willing to take the risk of your own death just in order to protect the other..." Deidara let go of his chin, but Sasuke didn't move. He was trying very hard not to let anything show on his face, and he kept quiet, waiting what else the blond had to say. The young Uchiha knew that arguing right now would probably seem suspicious, and it would confirm the other's hunch.

"I can only assume that you knew each other before," concluded Deidara, examining him searchingly. Sasuke took his time to answer, and when he did, he felt as though he was telling the truth.

"I didn't know him." It was true, in some way. He hadn't known who the man going by the name 'Raven' was. He'd had no idea. That was probably why now, telling Deidara that he'd never seen Itachi before coming to the arena, he didn't really feel like he was lying. Sasuke had never been a good liar- so for once the loss of his memories was advantageous.

Deidara's visible eye narrowed. "But he knew you?"

"I didn't say that." The moment he said it Sasuke knew the answer had come too fast.

"Sasuke," the blond said, sounding even more serious than before. "Are you his brother? The second survivor of the Uchiha clan's massacre?"

For a few seconds he actually considered telling Deidara the truth. What would it matter? If the bomber told anyone, Sasuke could kill them. He could as well kill Deidara, when the time came. Yet, he decided not to tell the truth. For some reason, only thinking about it made him feel sick, at the same time angry. The brother he had known died the night his family had been murdered.

"I'm not of the Uchiha clan," he replied slowly. "As for Raven- I don't know anything about him. I thought I did- but I was wrong."

...

* * *

Itachi was tempted to go outside into the cold rain, to the rocks bordering their prison, where Sasuke sat with his back leant against the wall- he wanted to pick him up and carry him back into the warmth of his tent- but he knew he couldn't. From where he was standing, it looked as though his brother had passed out. Itachi had watched him slump down against the dark wall, not caring about the cold or the rain. He wanted nothing more than to run after him, hold him, tell him the truth- but he couldn't. He had known that Sasuke would eventually remember everything, and in the past hours he'd tried not to think of it. He wanted to enjoy the time he had left with his little brother.

Itachi had never wanted it to end up like this. He hadn't wanted to kiss Sasuke, nor have sex with him. He hadn't wanted to tell him how he really felt about him. All he'd desired was some time with his little brother. For ten years Itachi had been thinking about nothing but him. After leaving Konoha, he'd become a shadow of himself. The last bit of hope for things to be as they used to be once again had faded when he returned to the village and found out that his Sasuke's memory had been erased.

The day Itachi had been captured and brought to the arena, he gave up on everything. He didn't really care about his own life- the days he spent training, not giving any attention to what was happening around him. At night he would lose himself in either thoughts or dreams- both revolving around Sasuke.

Standing in the entrance of his tent, the rain pattering onto the muddy ground loudly, drowning out everything else, Itachi remembered the moment he'd seen Sasuke again. He had sensed him before even seeing him. He would recognize that chakra signature anywhere, even though it had changed a lot. Itachi had dared to turn around and look, and seeing Sasuke for the first time after all those years had sparked something inside of him. But he had forced himself not to interact with Sasuke, instead he settled for protecting him from the shadows he'd always been hiding in, without Sasuke ever knowing. He tried to avoid his little brother, he tried not to talk to him- not even look at him- foolishly telling himself that he wouldn't make the same mistake again. That he wouldn't fall for his own brother again.

Deep down Itachi knew that he'd never stopped loving Sasuke in that wrong way. That was probably why he didn't listen to Sasori when he told him to stay away from Sasuke, and it was also the reason why this night he hadn't held back. Knowing that Sasuke would remember everything sooner or later, Itachi had wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. But he didn't expect the younger to regain his memory so fast. Therefore, when Sasuke woke up from a nightmare- one that was reality- he hadn't been able to do anything. All he could do was watch as the love in Sasuke's eyes was replaced with hurt, and then, slowly, hatred. Itachi knew this hatred would only grow once the sadness faded completely.

He doubted that Sasuke would believe him if he told him the truth behind his actions now. There was no way he could prove it, after all. And Itachi was sure that after what he'd done, Sasuke wouldn't believe anything.

A feeling of hopelessness overcame him as he watched his beloved little brother lying there in the rain, and he couldn't help but recall the way Sasuke had looked at him only minutes ago- contempt in his eyes, his voice dripping with venom. Itachi raised a hand to his face, wanting to brush a few strands of raven hair out of his eyes- and only then he realized that he was crying. His hand sank back down, and he just stood, his eyes fixed on Sasuke, tears rolling down his cheeks.

...

* * *

Deidara had eventually stopped pestering him, leaving with a warning.

"Don't underestimate the power of the sharingan."

The blond seemed to be pretty sure of what Sasori had told him as well as his own theory, Sasuke thought. Fortunately, it seemed that he had convinced him that he wasn't one of the Uchiha clan's survivors, otherwise the bomber wouldn't have told him about all this. None of the information had been new or useful to Sasuke, but at least, after this, he knew how much exactly Deidara was aware of.

Now, after having gotten some food in the cave where the necessary supplies were handed out, the young Uchiha had returned to the tent. As expected, he wasn't alone. On normal days the likelihood of the tent being empty was high, for most of its occupants would either be training or in the cave with their comrades or friends- but today the rain hadn't stopped once, resulting in them not knowing what to do. Therefore, it was neither empty nor quiet in tent 3 when Sasuke entered, a slice of bread in his hand. For a brief moment he thought that living in the one tent that served as a 'home' for only a single person wouldn't have been so bad, on the contrary; it would have been rather... pleasant. It was an inadvertent thought, and Sasuke felt anger arise in him as soon as he realized what he'd been thinking about.

He needed to stop pondering about that traitorous man. If anything, he was supposed to think about him with hatred and contempt.

Looking outside, he noticed that it was dark already. The day had apparently gone by faster than he thought. Sasuke didn't exactly feel tired, what he felt was something different. It was as though all his energy had been drained from him, together with his ability to feel anything but resentment.

Sasuke allowed a quiet sigh to escape his lips as he made his way to his bed. Killing Itachi wasn't going to be easy. He was very well aware of just how strong the other was. And Sasuke knew that after having killed an entire clan without any further hesitation, Itachi wouldn't have any qualms to kill his own brother.

He lay down and pulled the thin blankets up, trying to escape the cold.

There was something deep in his heart though- or maybe it was only his thoughts; his imagination- that told him that despite hating his brother for what he'd done, Sasuke couldn't help but feel hurt. The reasons were more than obvious, to him too, and even though he wanted to deny it, he knew hehad hoped that Itachi really loved him the way he loved the other.

Sasuke closed his eyes, hoping he wouldn't dream this night.

Only a few seconds after, he realized that he wasn't going to dream about his childhood anymore.

There wasn't anything left to remember.

* * *

AN: Although I'm a prick and never update, reviews are very much appreciated. Heeh.


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